Confidence / Overcoming Nervousness / Lesson 10

LESSON 10 · OVERCOMING NERVOUSNESS

Shake It Out: Release Tension

Twenty-six ways to shake out tension, because moving your body is one of the quickest ways to release it.

Tension lives in your muscles. Moving them frees it.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (Susan Jeffers), The Upside of Stress (Kelly McGonigal), The 5 Second Rule (Mel Robbins), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Tension lives in the muscles

When nerves rise, muscles tighten to prepare for action, especially in the neck, shoulders, jaw, hands and stomach. Releasing them on purpose tells your brain the danger has passed.

TRY THIS
Scan your body from head to toe and name the tightest spot.

TIP 2

Animals shake it off

Watch a dog after a scare: it shakes its whole body and trots away calmer. Some therapists suggest people can use a similar gentle shaking to discharge nervous energy.

TRY THIS
Shake your hands and arms loosely for fifteen seconds.

TIP 3

The fifteen-second shake

Stand with soft knees and shake your hands, then your arms, then your shoulders, gradually adding your legs. A short shake loosens the body and breaks a worry loop.

TRY THIS
Do a fifteen-second shake before your next big moment.

TIP 4

Shake your hands before a handshake

Cold, stiff hands are a common sign of nerves. A quick shake and rub warms them and takes the edge off.

TRY THIS
Rub your palms together and shake out your fingers.

TIP 5

Roll your shoulders

Lift your shoulders to your ears, roll them back and let them drop. Do it three times slowly. It is a classic reset for the upper body.

TRY THIS
Roll your shoulders three times at your desk.

TIP 6

Drop your jaw

Many people clench their jaw without noticing. Let your teeth part, your tongue rest and your lips soften, and feel the face relax.

TRY THIS
Say “ahh” quietly to loosen your jaw.

TIP 7

Stretch your neck gently

Slowly tilt your ear toward your shoulder and breathe, then change sides. Never force it. Gentle stretches release the neck tension nerves create.

TRY THIS
Hold a neck stretch for three breaths each side.

TIP 8

Progressive muscle relaxation

In the 1920s, Edmund Jacobson showed that tensing a muscle group for a few seconds and then releasing it leaves it more relaxed than before. It remains a standard anxiety tool.

TRY THIS
Tense and release your fists, then your arms, then your shoulders.

TIP 9

Tense, hold, release

Clench your fists as hard as you can for five seconds, then let go and feel the difference. The contrast helps you notice what relaxation feels like.

TRY THIS
Clench and release your fists three times.

TIP 10

Scrunch and release your face

Squeeze your eyes shut and tense your face for five seconds, then let go. It relieves tension you may not realise you carry.

TRY THIS
Scrunch your face, then relax it.

TIP 11

Wiggle your toes

Curl and uncurl your toes inside your shoes. It is invisible, quick and draws your attention to the ground.

TRY THIS
Curl your toes for five seconds and release.

TIP 12

Press your feet into the floor

Pushing your feet down gives the leg muscles something to do and anchors you in the present. It works well when you must stay seated.

TRY THIS
Press your feet down for five seconds, then release.

TIP 13

Squeeze and release your hands

Squeezing a soft ball or just your own fingers can use up nervous energy discreetly. It is helpful before speaking.

TRY THIS
Squeeze your hands under the table and release.

TIP 14

Walk it out

A brisk five-minute walk uses adrenaline and clears your head. Many people find solutions while walking.

TRY THIS
Walk briskly around the block before your event.

TIP 15

Climb a flight of stairs

A quick climb uses the large muscles and burns off adrenaline in two minutes. It is a handy trick before an interview.

TRY THIS
Take the stairs up and down once.

TIP 16

Do ten jumping jacks

A short burst of energetic movement can reduce a surge of nervous energy. Do it in private before important moments.

TRY THIS
Do ten jumping jacks, then breathe slowly.

TIP 17

Dance a little

Playing one favourite song and moving to it for three minutes lifts mood and releases tension. It also makes you smile.

TRY THIS
Dance to one song before you start your day.

TIP 18

Stretch your whole body

Reach up high, then fold forward and let your arms hang. Gentle stretching eases tight muscles and quiets the mind.

TRY THIS
Reach up for a count of four, then fold forward and breathe.

TIP 19

Do a gentle yoga pose

Poses such as child’s pose, cat-cow or forward fold are calming for many people. Hold each for several slow breaths.

TRY THIS
Hold child’s pose for five breaths.

TIP 20

Try a standing wall push

Place your hands on a wall and push firmly for ten seconds, then release. The strong muscle action discharges tension.

TRY THIS
Push against a wall for ten seconds.

TIP 21

Swing your arms

Let your arms swing loosely from side to side as you twist your torso gently. The rhythm releases tight shoulders and back.

TRY THIS
Twist and swing your arms ten times.

TIP 22

Use a stress ball or smooth stone

Rolling a stone in your hand gives your fingers a calm job. It is a discreet and effective habit.

TRY THIS
Carry a smooth stone in your pocket.

TIP 23

Take a movement break

After forty minutes of sitting, stand up, stretch and look out of a window. Short breaks reduce stress buildup.

TRY THIS
Set a timer to stand every forty minutes.

TIP 24

Exercise regularly

Research suggests that regular physical activity reduces anxiety over time. Even moderate exercise, like a daily walk, helps.

TRY THIS
Plan three twenty-minute walks this week.

TIP 25

Move before bed

Gentle stretching before sleep releases the day’s tension. Avoid vigorous exercise right before bed if it keeps you awake.

TRY THIS
Do five minutes of gentle stretching tonight.

TIP 26

Use a warm shower

Warm water relaxes tight muscles and soothes the mind. A warm shower or bath before an event can calm both body and nerves.

TRY THIS
Take a warm shower before an evening event.

TIP 27

Self-massage your shoulders

Press your fingers firmly into the muscle on top of your shoulder, and make small circles. A minute helps ease knots.

TRY THIS
Massage each shoulder for thirty seconds.

TIP 28

Massage your hands

Press your thumb into the palm of the opposite hand and move in small circles. It is soothing and subtle.

TRY THIS
Massage each hand for thirty seconds.

TIP 29

Rub your temples

Make light circles on your temples with your fingertips as you breathe slowly. Many people find it eases head tension.

TRY THIS
Rub your temples for twenty seconds.

TIP 30

Relax your tongue

Rest the tip of your tongue behind your lower teeth and let the rest relax. A relaxed tongue helps loosen the jaw and throat.

TRY THIS
Relax your tongue and notice the jaw soften.

TIP 31

Smile gently

A soft smile releases facial tension and sends a friendly signal to your brain. It also makes you look approachable.

TRY THIS
Smile softly while you breathe out.

TIP 32

Check your posture

Slumped shoulders compress your lungs. Sitting tall with your feet flat gives your breathing room and your body ease.

TRY THIS
Sit up tall and uncross your legs.

TIP 33

Use the wall lean

Stand with your back against a wall and let it support you. Feeling supported helps your muscles release.

TRY THIS
Lean against a wall for thirty seconds.

TIP 34

Make loose fists and open

Open and close your hands slowly, feeling the fingers move. It is a gentle warm-up for your hands before writing or speaking.

TRY THIS
Open and close your hands ten times.

TIP 35

Hum or sing

Humming vibrates the chest and throat and relaxes the voice. Singing in the shower or car is an excellent release.

TRY THIS
Hum a tune for thirty seconds.

TIP 36

Use laughter

Laughing releases tension and lifts mood. A funny video before a stressful event can change your state.

TRY THIS
Watch one funny clip before your event.

TIP 37

Release with sound

A long, soft sigh or an “ahh” lets air and tension out together. It is nature’s own reset.

TRY THIS
Let out one loud sigh when you are alone.

TIP 38

Notice the contrast

After you release tension, rest for a moment and notice how different your muscles feel. Noticing makes the effect stronger.

TRY THIS
Pause for ten seconds and feel the softness.

TIP 39

Make it a daily habit

A two-minute release routine each day keeps tension from building up. Small habits beat big efforts.

TRY THIS
Do a two-minute body release each morning.

TIP 40

Release before you rehearse

If you practise a speech with tight shoulders, your body rehearses tension too. Loosen up first, then practise, so the calm version is the one you learn.

TRY THIS
Shake out and roll your shoulders before every practice run.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

SHAKE

“I am shaking out the tension.”

ROLL

“Roll shoulders back and down.”

STRETCH

“A quick stretch will help.”

“I need a quick stretch break.”

ASK

“Would you like to stretch with me?”

“I feel looser already.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Shake your hands for ten seconds

DAY 2
Roll your shoulders ten times

DAY 3
Stretch your neck gently

DAY 4
Do star jumps for thirty seconds

DAY 5
Shake out your legs

DAY 6
Walk around the block

DAY 7
Note how you feel

More lessons in “Overcoming Nervousness”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

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