Sales Skills / Why People Buy / Lesson 01

LESSON 01 · WHY PEOPLE BUY

Reciprocity: Give First

Forty ways to use the oldest rule of human kindness, honestly and warmly, to build real trust.

Giving first is not a trick. It is how healthy relationships start.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Robert Cialdini and other researchers of influence. The first six give the biggest gains. Pick one and try it today.

TIP 1

The rule of giving first

Robert Cialdini describes reciprocity as the urge to return a favour. Use it kindly.

TRY THIS
Give something useful today without asking for anything.

TIP 2

Give real value

A useful tip, template or idea is better than a trinket.

TRY THIS
Write one valuable tip for your customers.

TIP 3

Make it personal

A gift made for them means more than a standard one.

TRY THIS
Add their name or situation to your next gift.

TIP 4

Give first, ask later

Timing matters. Give, then wait before asking.

TRY THIS
Wait a few days after giving before you ask.

TIP 5

No pressure on the gift

A gift with strings feels like a trap.

TRY THIS
Say, “There is no obligation.”

TIP 6

Be genuine

People sense an honest intention.

TRY THIS
Check your motive before you give.

TIP 7

Share free knowledge

A short guide builds expertise and goodwill.

TRY THIS
Create a one-page tip sheet.

TIP 8

Offer a free audit

A short review shows how you think.

TRY THIS
Offer one free mini-review to a prospect.

TIP 9

Offer a small sample

Let people try before they commit.

TRY THIS
Plan a small trial option.

TIP 10

Give your time

A quick helpful call is a strong gift.

TRY THIS
Offer a 10-minute help call.

TIP 11

Make an introduction

Connecting people is a lasting gift.

TRY THIS
Introduce two people who would benefit.

TIP 12

Share a useful article

Send something they will actually use.

TRY THIS
Send one relevant article with a note.

TIP 13

Remember what they like

A small, thoughtful touch tells them you pay attention.

TRY THIS
Send a link about one of their interests.

TIP 14

Thank them loudly

Gratitude strengthens the bond.

TRY THIS
Send a thank-you today.

TIP 15

Accept help gracefully

Receiving also builds relationships.

TRY THIS
Ask a customer for one small piece of advice.

TIP 16

Give without keeping score

Real generosity returns in many ways.

TRY THIS
Do one favour with no expectation.

TIP 17

Burg and Mann: the law of value

In The Go-Giver, they say your income is tied to how many people you serve and how well.

TRY THIS
Write who you serve and how you can serve better.

TIP 18

Be useful in your emails

Give a tip in every message.

TRY THIS
Add one tip to your next email.

TIP 19

Respond quickly

Speed is a gift.

TRY THIS
Reply within an hour today.

TIP 20

Follow through on offers

Do what you promised.

TRY THIS
Complete one outstanding promise.

TIP 21

Avoid manipulation

Do not use gifts to create guilt.

TRY THIS
Remove any guilt language from your messages.

TIP 22

Match gifts to your relationship

Do not overdo it with new contacts.

TRY THIS
Pick gifts that suit the stage of the relationship.

TIP 23

Give recognition

Praise someone publicly, sincerely.

TRY THIS
Share a customer success post.

TIP 24

Give feedback kindly

Honest, helpful feedback is valuable.

TRY THIS
Offer one piece of constructive feedback.

TIP 25

Teach a skill

A short lesson builds goodwill.

TRY THIS
Offer a short how-to to a customer.

TIP 26

Share contacts

Offering a useful contact is generous.

TRY THIS
Share one contact with a customer.

TIP 27

Give a first small win

A quick success builds momentum.

TRY THIS
Plan a small first step for new customers.

TIP 28

Make the next step easy

Remove obstacles for them.

TRY THIS
Simplify one step in your process.

TIP 29

Invite, do not demand

A gentle invitation feels respectful.

TRY THIS
Rephrase one request as an invitation.

TIP 30

Return favours quickly

When someone helps you, repay in kind.

TRY THIS
Say thanks and offer help to someone who helped you.

TIP 31

Gift the unexpected

A small surprise is memorable.

TRY THIS
Send one unexpected helpful item.

TIP 32

Be generous in referrals

Refer others to good providers.

TRY THIS
Recommend someone you trust today.

TIP 33

Stay patient

Trust takes time.

TRY THIS
Plan a follow-up in two weeks.

TIP 34

Protect your boundaries

Giving does not mean being used.

TRY THIS
Decide what you will and will not give free.

TIP 35

Track your gifts

Record what you shared and what helped.

TRY THIS
Start a simple gift log.

TIP 36

Ask how it helped

Learn what works.

TRY THIS
Ask one customer how your tip helped.

TIP 37

Make giving a habit

A weekly gift builds a reputation.

TRY THIS
Choose one weekly giving habit.

TIP 38

Give with a smile

The warmth in giving matters.

TRY THIS
Smile when you share your next gift.

TIP 39

Say thank you for every reply

A sincere thank you keeps the exchange warm and makes giving feel good on both sides.

TRY THIS
Thank the next three people who answer you.

TIP 40

Give today

The best moment is now.

TRY THIS
Send one useful gift before the day ends.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

OFFER

“I put together a short guide that might help you.”

NO STRINGS

“There is no obligation at all.”

SHARE

“Here is something that worked for another customer.”

ASK

“Would you like me to send it?”

THANK YOU

“Thank you for trying it.”

NEXT

“If it helps, I am happy to go further.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Give one free tip

DAY 2
Share one helpful article

DAY 3
Introduce two people

DAY 4
Offer a short audit

DAY 5
Send a useful template

DAY 6
Thank someone for a favour

DAY 7
Ask how your gift helped

Further reading

• Influence (Robert Cialdini)
• Pre-Suasion (Robert Cialdini)
• Thinking, Fast and Slow (Daniel Kahneman)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.