Networking & Career / Finding Mentors and Allies / Lesson 04

LESSON 04 · FINDING MENTORS AND ALLIES

Write a Short First Message

Eighteen easy tips to write a short first message, so a busy mentor feels glad to answer.

Short and warm. One clear ask.

25 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

25 tips that really help

These ideas come from Radical Candor (Kim Scott), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Why short wins

Busy people read quickly. A short, kind message gets a reply more often than a long one.

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Keep short.

TIP 2

Start with a friendly hello

Say your name and a warm greeting. Warm words open doors.

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Say hello.

TIP 3

Say why you chose them

Mention one thing you admire. Honest praise is welcome.

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Name one thing.

TIP 4

Share who you are in one line

One sentence about your work or study. Keep it simple.

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Write one line.

TIP 5

Make one clear ask

Ask for twenty minutes or one question. Clear asks are easy to accept.

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Ask once.

TIP 6

Offer a choice of times

Offer two time options. Choices feel easy.

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Offer two.

TIP 7

Make saying no easy

Say, no worries if you are busy. It lowers pressure.

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Add it.

TIP 8

Say thank you and sign off

Close with warm thanks. Kind words leave a good mark.

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Say thanks.

TIP 9

Script: hello

Hello Maya, my name is Sam and I admire your work on kind leadership. Write it warmly.

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Use it.

TIP 10

Script: ask

Could I ask for twenty minutes to learn from your experience? Write it politely.

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Use it.

TIP 11

Script: close

No worries at all if you are busy, and thank you for reading. Write it kindly.

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Use it.

TIP 12

Mistake: writing a long life story

Long stories get skipped, so keep short.

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Keep short.

TIP 13

Mistake: asking for a job

It puts pressure, so ask for advice.

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Ask for advice.

TIP 14

Troubleshoot: when they do not reply

Wait a week, send one kind reminder and then move on.

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Remind once.

TIP 15

Troubleshoot: when you worry about bothering them

A polite short message is rarely a bother, so send it.

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Send it.

TIP 16

Drill: write your message in ten minutes

Set a timer and write a first message, then edit once.

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Write one.

TIP 17

Drill: send one this week

Send one message to a person you admire.

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Send one.

TIP 18

Mention how you found them

Say you saw their talk or read their article. A real link makes the message warm.

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Add the link.

TIP 19

Say what you are working on in one line

Give a tiny picture of your work so they can see where to help.

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Add one line.

TIP 20

Do not attach big files

Keep the message light. Share files if they ask.

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Skip files.

TIP 21

Example: the first message

Hi Maya, I read your article on kind leadership and it changed how I run meetings. May I ask how you started?

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Copy the shape.

TIP 22

Example: the follow-up

Hi Maya, I hope your week is going well. I tried your idea and it helped. Thank you.

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Write one.

TIP 23

Mistake: sending the same message to ten people at once

Personal notes work better. Write each with care.

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Personalise.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when you worry about the tone

Read it aloud and imagine receiving it. Adjust until it feels kind.

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Read aloud.

TIP 25

Keep a list of questions you could ask a mentor

Collecting questions as they come to you means you are ready the moment you get a chance to speak with someone.

TRY THIS
Start a list.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.

HELLO

“Hello, my name is Sam.”

REASON

“I admire your work in this field.”

ASK

“Could I ask for twenty minutes?”

EASY

“No pressure at all.”

THANKS

“Thank you for reading.”

CLOSE

“Warm regards.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Research them

DAY 2
Write a hello

DAY 3
Say why them

DAY 4
Make one ask

DAY 5
Add a kind close

DAY 6
Proofread

DAY 7
Send

Further reading

• Radical Candor (Kim Scott)
• Give and Take (Adam Grant)
• Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.