Find Peer Friends at Your Level
Eighteen easy tips to find peer friends at your level, so you grow together and feel less alone.
Peers are powerful. Grow side by side.
25 tips that really help
These ideas come from Radical Candor (Kim Scott), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why peers matter
People at your level understand your struggles. They share tips, honest views and good company.
Find some.
Look in your workplace and classes
Peers sit near you. Say hello and ask about their work.
Say hello.
Join groups for your level
Early career groups and beginner clubs are friendly. Find them online and offline.
Join one.
Share what you are learning
Sharing invites others to share. Learning together is faster.
Share one thing.
Share your worries kindly
Honest talk builds trust. Choose safe people.
Share a little.
Set a monthly meeting
A regular call or coffee builds a strong peer group. Keep it short.
Plan it.
Make a small circle
Three to five people is a great size. Smaller circles feel safe.
Start small.
Celebrate each other
Cheer for wins and support in hard times. Joy and care grow bonds.
Cheer.
Script: starting
I am new in this field too, would you like to compare notes sometime? Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: planning
Shall we meet monthly to share what we are learning? Say it lightly.
Use it.
Script: support
I am here if you want to talk, we are in this together. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Mistake: competing with peers
Competition harms bonds, so cheer them on.
Cheer them.
Mistake: complaining all the time
Constant complaints drain energy, so mix in wins.
Add wins.
Troubleshoot: when you cannot find peers
Start a small group yourself and invite two people. Someone must begin.
Start one.
Troubleshoot: when the group fades
Send a warm message and plan a simple meeting. Revive it.
Revive it.
Drill: message one peer this week
Message one peer and suggest a coffee or call.
Message one.
Drill: start a peer chat group
Invite three peers to a small group chat.
Start one.
Start a lunch group
Invite three peers for a monthly lunch. It is easy and fun.
Start one.
Example: the study circle
Four juniors met every Friday to share tips and cheer each other on. All were promoted.
Start a circle.
Example: the skill swap
Mia taught Excel and Raj taught writing. Both improved.
Try a swap.
Troubleshoot: when peers leave the company
Stay in touch by message and keep the friendship.
Keep contact.
Choose peers who are kind and curious
Friends with kindness and curiosity make a better support group than those who always compete or complain.
Pick kind ones.
Agree on simple group rules at the start
Rules like keep things private and be kind create safety, so everyone shares more honestly and gains more.
Write three rules.
Rotate who leads each meeting
Taking turns gives everyone a chance to practise leading and keeps the group fresh and fair.
Make a rota.
Meet at the same time each month
A steady rhythm makes meetings easy to remember and gives the group a strong habit.
Pick a date.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“I am new in this field too.”
“Here is what I learned.”
“How are you handling this?”
“Shall we meet monthly?”
“I am here for you.”
“We are in this together.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Find peers
Say hello
Share struggles
Share wins
Set a meeting rhythm
Support each other
Celebrate
Further reading
- Radical Candor (Kim Scott)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Finding Mentors and Allies”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Keep the Relationship WarmNext: Find a Sponsor Who Speaks for You →
- Why Mentors Matter
- Decide What Help You Want
- Find People You Admire
- Write a Short First Message
- Ask for Twenty Minutes
- Prepare Good Questions
- Follow Their Advice and Report Back
- Give Back to Your Mentor
- Keep the Relationship Warm
- Find Peer Friends at Your Level
- Find a Sponsor Who Speaks for You
- Become a Mentor Yourself
