Become a Mentor Yourself
Eighteen easy tips to become a mentor yourself, so you pass on what you know and grow too.
You have something to give. Mentoring helps both.
27 tips that really help
These ideas come from Radical Candor (Kim Scott), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why mentor
Mentoring helps others and also deepens your own understanding. It also builds your reputation as a kind leader.
Start.
You do not need to be an expert
If you are a step ahead, you can help someone behind. Share what you learned.
Share it.
Pick what you can share
List the skills and lessons you can offer. Focus on a few.
List three.
Find someone to support
Look in your workplace, school or community. Many people need a guide.
Find one.
Set a simple time rhythm
Meet once a month for thirty minutes. Clear limits protect energy.
Set a rhythm.
Listen before advising
Ask about their goals and fears. Understanding comes first.
Listen.
Share your stories
Tell your mistakes and lessons. Real stories help.
Share a story.
Encourage and believe in them
Kind words matter. Many people need to hear that they can do it.
Encourage.
Script: offer
I would be glad to share what I have learned if it helps. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: listening
What do you hope to achieve this year? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: encouraging
I believe you can do this, and I am here to help. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Mistake: telling people what to do
Guide, do not command, so offer ideas.
Offer ideas.
Mistake: making it about you
Keep the focus on them, so listen.
Listen.
Mistake: promising too much
Be clear about your time, so set limits.
Set limits.
Troubleshoot: when you feel unqualified
Share honest experience and say what you do not know. Humility helps.
Be honest.
Troubleshoot: when they stop responding
Send a kind message and let them lead. People have seasons.
Stay kind.
Drill: offer help to one person
Offer thirty minutes to one person this month.
Offer it.
Drill: write what you could teach
Write five things you could teach someone.
Write five.
Start with one person
One mentee is enough to learn the skill.
Offer to one.
Meet for thirty minutes monthly
A small rhythm is easy to keep.
Set a rhythm.
Example: the first mentee
Lina met a new colleague monthly. She learned how to lead as she mentored.
Offer a chat.
Example: the volunteer mentor
Joe mentored a student through a free program and felt proud.
Look for programs.
Troubleshoot: when they do not follow your advice
It is their path. Offer support and keep kind.
Stay kind.
Drill: write your mentor offer
Write two lines for how you can help.
Write it.
Remember how nervous you once felt
Recalling your own early days helps you listen with patience and kindness to someone new.
Write one memory.
Offer a small, clear way to help first
Saying I can review your CV for twenty minutes is easier to accept than a vague offer of mentoring.
Offer one thing.
Ask your mentee to share one goal each month
A goal gives each meeting a purpose, and it helps both of you see progress over time.
Ask for a goal.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“I can share what I learned.”
“Tell me about your goals.”
“Here is one idea.”
“I believe in you.”
“I can meet once a month.”
“Proud of you.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick your strengths
Find a mentee
Set the time
Listen first
Share stories
Encourage
Reflect
Further reading
- Radical Candor (Kim Scott)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Finding Mentors and Allies”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Find a Sponsor Who Speaks for You
- Why Mentors Matter
- Decide What Help You Want
- Find People You Admire
- Write a Short First Message
- Ask for Twenty Minutes
- Prepare Good Questions
- Follow Their Advice and Report Back
- Give Back to Your Mentor
- Keep the Relationship Warm
- Find Peer Friends at Your Level
- Find a Sponsor Who Speaks for You
- Become a Mentor Yourself
