Why Mentors Matter
Eighteen easy tips to see why mentors matter, so you ask for guidance with hope and courage.
A guide saves years. Ask and learn.
26 tips that really help
These ideas come from Radical Candor (Kim Scott), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why mentors help
A mentor has walked the road before you. They share shortcuts, warnings and encouragement.
Find one.
Mentors give honest views
Friends may be kind, while mentors can be kind and honest. Honest views help you grow.
Welcome honesty.
Mentors open doors
They may introduce you to people and chances. A good word from them matters.
Value introductions.
Mentors boost confidence
Hearing that your path makes sense helps courage. Encouragement counts.
Welcome it.
Mentors can be many
You can have different mentors for different goals. One person need not do everything.
Think wide.
Mentors can be short term
A mentor may help for one question or for many years. Both are fine.
Be flexible.
You can learn from books and videos too
Not all mentors are people you meet. Their stories can guide you.
Read widely.
Be ready to learn
Bring curiosity, notes and a kind heart. Mentors give more to those who try.
Be ready.
Script: idea
I would love to learn from your experience in this field. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: thanks
Thank you for sharing your time and wisdom. Say it sincerely.
Use it.
Script: update
I tried your idea and it helped me a lot. Say it gladly.
Use it.
Mistake: waiting until you are ready
You will never feel fully ready, so start asking.
Start now.
Mistake: expecting a mentor to fix everything
Mentors guide, not rescue, so do the work.
Do the work.
Troubleshoot: when you feel unworthy
Everyone started somewhere, and mentors enjoy helping eager learners.
Be brave.
Troubleshoot: when you do not know where to start
Ask friends who they admire and look at speakers and authors. Ideas appear.
Ask around.
Drill: write what you want to learn
Write three skills or paths you want help with.
Write three.
Drill: list five admired people
Write five people whose work you respect.
List five.
Notice who helped you most so far
Think of teachers, bosses and friends who guided you. Their help shows what good mentoring looks like.
Write three names.
Learn from several small mentors
One person rarely knows everything. Collect advice from many people for different goals.
Name two areas.
Look for mentors who are one or two steps ahead
They remember your struggles and give practical, fresh advice.
Find someone a step ahead.
Learn from books as a first mentor
Books let you hear great minds for the price of a coffee. Start with one on your goal.
Pick a book.
Example: the manager who mentored
Her first manager gave one weekly tip. Years later she still follows them.
Think of yours.
Example: the group mentor
Tom joined a mentor circle of six people. Each week he heard different views.
Look for circles.
Mistake: thinking mentors must be older
A younger person may know a new tool better than you. Learn from anyone.
Stay open.
Troubleshoot: when you worry you will be a burden
Most people enjoy helping and feel proud when asked. Ask kindly.
Ask kindly.
Drill: write what you want from a mentor
Write three lines: what, why and how often.
Write three lines.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“I would like to learn from you.”
“I admire how you did this.”
“I need advice about this.”
“Thank you for sharing.”
“I will try your idea.”
“I will tell you how it goes.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Think of your goals
Think of gaps
List people you admire
Ask one
Listen
Try ideas
Report back
Further reading
- Radical Candor (Kim Scott)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Finding Mentors and Allies”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
Next: Decide What Help You Want →
- Why Mentors Matter
- Decide What Help You Want
- Find People You Admire
- Write a Short First Message
- Ask for Twenty Minutes
- Prepare Good Questions
- Follow Their Advice and Report Back
- Give Back to Your Mentor
- Keep the Relationship Warm
- Find Peer Friends at Your Level
- Find a Sponsor Who Speaks for You
- Become a Mentor Yourself
