Making Friends / How to Turn an Acquaintance Into a Friend / Lesson 16

LESSON 16 · HOW TO TURN AN ACQUAINTANCE INTO A FRIEND

Try a New Thing Together

Thirty-two ways to try a new thing together, the quickest way to make memories and stories you share.

Novelty bonds people. Trying something new together gives you something to remember and laugh about.

28 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

28 tips that really help

These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Friendship (Lydia Denworth), Friends (Robin Dunbar), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Novelty creates bonding

Psychologists found couples and friends who try new activities together report closer bonds. Shared novelty excites the brain and links the feeling to the person.

TRY THIS
Try something new this month.

TIP 2

Make a list of firsts

Write things neither of you has done, such as archery, a pottery class or a new cuisine. A list turns vague wishes into plans.

TRY THIS
Write five ideas.

TIP 3

Choose a gentle first

Start with something mild, like a taster class. You can build up to bolder adventures.

TRY THIS
Pick the gentlest option.

TIP 4

Share the nervousness

Saying I am a bit nervous about this makes it a shared adventure. Honesty bonds.

TRY THIS
Say it aloud.

TIP 5

Be okay with being bad

Beginners are clumsy together, and laughing at it is the point. Perfection is not the aim.

TRY THIS
Laugh at the first mistake.

TIP 6

Pick beginner sessions

Beginners’ classes ensure no one is far ahead. Everyone starts together.

TRY THIS
Look for beginner nights.

TIP 7

Try food you have never tried

A new cuisine or a cooking class is easy and rewarding. Food is a friendly adventure.

TRY THIS
Book a restaurant.

TIP 8

Try something active

A climbing wall or paddleboard session gives energy and laughter. Movement helps bonding.

TRY THIS
Choose a fun sport.

TIP 9

Try something creative

Painting, pottery or writing workshops show different sides. Creative sessions are relaxed.

TRY THIS
Book a workshop.

TIP 10

Try something local

A museum, a market or a festival you have never visited counts. Novelty can be close to home.

TRY THIS
Explore your town.

TIP 11

Take photos

Capture silly moments. Photos become shared jokes.

TRY THIS
Snap a few.

TIP 12

Debrief afterwards

Talk about what surprised you and what you loved. The memory settles.

TRY THIS
Chat over a drink.

TIP 13

Script: suggesting novelty

Shall we try something neither of us has ever done? Playful and open.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 14

Script: being brave

I am a little scared, but I am in if you are. Shared courage.

TRY THIS
Use it.

TIP 15

Script: during

This is hilarious, I am terrible at it. Warm.

TRY THIS
Say it.

TIP 16

Script: after

Thank you for dragging me along, I loved it. Gratitude.

TRY THIS
Say it.

TIP 17

Script: next

What shall we try next time? Momentum.

TRY THIS
Ask it.

TIP 18

Mistake: choosing something too risky

Do not choose danger. Keep it safe and fun.

TRY THIS
Check safety.

TIP 19

Mistake: planning too much

Too much structure kills spontaneity. Leave room.

TRY THIS
Stay loose.

TIP 20

Mistake: doing it only once

One adventure is a story, a series is a friendship. Repeat.

TRY THIS
Plan the next.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when one of you is cautious

Start smaller and let them lead the pace. Patience.

TRY THIS
Offer options.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when it costs too much

Look for free or cheap firsts, like a new trail or a library event. Novelty can be free.

TRY THIS
Search free.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when it goes badly

Turn it into a funny story. Failed adventures bond too.

TRY THIS
Laugh about it.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when schedules are tight

Try a micro-adventure, such as a new street or shop, in an hour. Small works.

TRY THIS
Do a mini one.

TIP 25

Troubleshoot: when you lack ideas

Ask friends, search local listings or try a random generator. Ideas are everywhere.

TRY THIS
Ask around.

TIP 26

Drill: the monthly first

Try one new thing every month with a different person. Build stories.

TRY THIS
Add it to your calendar.

TIP 27

Drill: the surprise outing

Plan a surprise small outing for a friend. Delight.

TRY THIS
Plan one.

TIP 28

Drill: the new route

Walk a new route together. Tiny novelty.

TRY THIS
Try it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

SUGGEST

“Shall we try something neither of us has done?”

BRAVE

“I am a bit nervous, but let us do it.”

ENJOY

“That was ridiculous and brilliant.”

SHARE

“I would never have tried this alone.”

THANK

“Thanks for being up for it.”

CLOSE

“What shall we try next?”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
List five things neither of you has tried

DAY 2
Choose a gentle first one

DAY 3
Book it

DAY 4
Go with an open mind

DAY 5
Laugh at the clumsy bits

DAY 6
Take a photo

DAY 7
Plan the next new thing

Further reading

• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• Friendship (Lydia Denworth)
• Friends (Robin Dunbar)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.