Making Friends / How to Turn an Acquaintance Into a Friend / Lesson 35

LESSON 35 · HOW TO TURN AN ACQUAINTANCE INTO A FRIEND

Say Out Loud That You Enjoy Their Company

Thirty-two ways to say out loud that you enjoy their company, the sentence that turns warmth into certainty.

Unspoken liking leaves room for doubt. Say it and the friendship has solid ground.

27 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

27 tips that really help

These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Friendship (Lydia Denworth), Friends (Robin Dunbar), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

People rarely know they are liked

The liking gap research shows people underestimate how much others like them. Saying it fills the gap.

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Say it today.

TIP 2

Name what you enjoy

I love how you make me laugh is better than I like you. Specifics land.

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Find one reason.

TIP 3

Keep it simple

One honest sentence is enough. Do not make a speech.

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Be brief.

TIP 4

Say it in person

A warm face-to-face remark is memorable. Eye contact helps.

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Say it kindly.

TIP 5

Say it by message

A text can be saved and reread. It is a gift.

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Send one.

TIP 6

Pair it with a plan

I enjoy our chats, shall we make them regular? Turn feeling into action.

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Add a date.

TIP 7

Do not wait for them first

Someone has to go first. It can be you.

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Be brave.

TIP 8

Say it more than once

Warmth needs repeating over time. A yearly reminder is lovely.

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Plan to repeat.

TIP 9

Say it in a card

Written words last. A short card is moving.

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Write one.

TIP 10

Say it publicly sometimes

A toast or a kind post can touch. Use care.

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Toast a friend.

TIP 11

Mean it

Sincerity matters. Say only what is true.

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Be honest.

TIP 12

Script: simple

I really enjoy spending time with you. Clear.

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Use it.

TIP 13

Script: specific

I love that I can be myself around you. Deep.

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Use it.

TIP 14

Script: with a plan

I enjoy this so much, shall we make it monthly? Practical.

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Use it.

TIP 15

Script: written

Just wanted to say I am so glad we are friends. Warm.

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Use it.

TIP 16

Script: reply

I enjoy it too, thank you for saying it. Gracious.

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Use it.

TIP 17

Mistake: assuming they know

People cannot read your mind. Say it.

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Speak.

TIP 18

Mistake: using it to fish

Say it for them, not to extract. Selfless.

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Check motives.

TIP 19

Mistake: joking it away

Do not undercut with sarcasm. Let it stand.

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Keep it sincere.

TIP 20

Troubleshoot: when you feel awkward

Start with a message. Writing is easier.

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Send a note.

TIP 21

Troubleshoot: when they say little

Some people are shy with warmth. Their smile may be reply.

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Accept it.

TIP 22

Troubleshoot: when it is a new friendship

Say I am enjoying getting to know you. Gentle.

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Use that.

TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when they deflect

Say I mean it, and smile. Let it land.

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Repeat once.

TIP 24

Troubleshoot: when culture avoids emotion

Show warmth through acts and small words. Adapt.

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Use deeds.

TIP 25

Drill: one appreciation a week

Tell someone what you enjoy about them. Habit.

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Start.

TIP 26

Drill: the gratitude list

Write three friends and why you enjoy them. Feel.

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Write.

TIP 27

Drill: the in-person practice

Say it aloud to a mirror first. Ease.

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Practise.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.

SAY

“I really enjoy spending time with you.”

ADD

“Our chats are the best part of my week.”

ASK

“Do you feel the same?”

THANK

“Thank you for being you.”

PLAN

“Let us do this more often.”

CLOSE

“I am glad we are friends.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Notice what you enjoy about them

DAY 2
Write one sentence

DAY 3
Say it in person

DAY 4
Say it by message

DAY 5
Add a specific reason

DAY 6
Receive their reply

DAY 7
Repeat gently

Further reading

• Platonic (Marisa Franco)
• Friendship (Lydia Denworth)
• Friends (Robin Dunbar)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.