Introduce Them to Yours
Thirty easy ways to introduce them to your friends, so your circles blend and everyone feels welcome.
Share your world. Make it easy to join.
30 tips that really help
These ideas come from Platonic (Marisa Franco), Friendship (Lydia Denworth), Friends (Robin Dunbar), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why introduce friends
Sharing your circles makes the bond deeper. It tells them they matter to you.
Share it.
Start with one friend
One easy meet before a big group. Gentle.
Start small.
Choose a relaxed setting
Coffee, lunch or a walk in the park all feel simple, so choose a plan that is easy to say yes to.
Pick easy.
Invite warmly
Say, would you like to meet my friend? Optional and light.
Invite.
Tell friends about them first
Say a nice line about each. Warm introductions.
Brief them.
Introduce with a link
Say, you both love hiking. Common ground starts talk.
Use a link.
Use full names and roles
Say each name clearly and add a short role, because it helps everyone remember who is who.
Say names.
Start a topic
Ask a question all can answer. Breaks ice.
Ask one.
Include everyone
Turn to each person. Nobody left out.
Include all.
Stay close at first
Stay close at first and keep chatting, because your support helps them relax in the new group.
Stay close.
Give them an exit
Say, no pressure to stay long. Comfort.
Give choice.
Follow up after
Ask afterwards how they felt about meeting everyone, because it shows you care about their comfort.
Check in.
Script: inviting
Would you like to meet some friends of mine? Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: introducing
This is my friend, we met at work. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: linking
You both love hiking, you will get along. Say it lightly.
Use it.
Script: easing
No pressure at all, come when you can. Say it gently.
Use it.
Script: closing
Thanks for coming, I am glad you met. Say it gladly.
Use it.
Mistake: leaving them alone
Never leave them alone in a new group, because lonely moments hurt and staying near helps.
Stay near.
Mistake: inviting a huge group first
A big group can overwhelm a new friend, so start small with one or two people.
Start small.
Mistake: inside jokes only
Inside jokes exclude newcomers, so take a moment to explain them and include everyone.
Include them.
Mistake: forcing friendship
Forcing two people to be friends backfires, so let it grow and be gentle with both.
Be gentle.
Mistake: comparing friends
Comparing your friends out loud hurts feelings, so celebrate each person for who they are.
Celebrate.
Troubleshoot: when they are shy
Give simple jobs such as pouring drinks. Roles help.
Give a role.
Troubleshoot: when friends do not click
It is fine. Not everyone must be close.
Accept it.
Troubleshoot: when they decline
If they decline, ask again later in a relaxed way, because pressure free invites feel kind.
Try later.
Troubleshoot: when you feel jealous
If you feel jealous, talk about it kindly and honestly with them, because open words heal worry.
Be honest.
Troubleshoot: when it is awkward
If it gets awkward, change the activity or the topic, because an easy switch lifts the mood.
Change it.
Drill: plan one meet
Plan a small meet-up with two people. Invite.
Plan it.
Drill: write an intro
Write a warm one-line intro for two friends. Say it.
Write it.
Drill: debrief
After meeting, ask your friend how it went. Learn.
Ask.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday friendships.
“Come meet my friends.”
“This is my friend.”
“You both love hiking.”
“No pressure at all.”
“Thanks for coming.”
“Glad you met.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick a small group
Invite
Introduce
Find links
Include
Check in
Thank
Further reading
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
- Friendship (Lydia Denworth)
- Friends (Robin Dunbar)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
