The First 10 Seconds
Forty simple habits to make a warm, confident first impression in the first ten seconds of meeting someone.
A good first impression is simple. A smile, a clear hello and a calm body say almost everything.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from well-known books on first impressions and presence, and from practical advice. The first six matter most. Pick one and try it today.
Smile before you speak
A smile is the first thing people notice. It shows warmth before you say a word and makes you look more approachable and trustworthy.
Smile first, then say hello, in your next three meetings.
Make warm eye contact
A few seconds of friendly eye contact says I see you. Look at the person, look away gently, and come back as they speak.
Notice the eye colour of the next person you meet.
Stand tall and relaxed
An upright, relaxed posture looks calm and confident. Drop your shoulders, lengthen your neck and let your arms rest naturally.
Check your posture before you walk into the next room.
Say a clear, friendly hello
Your first words set the mood. Say hello clearly, at a steady volume and with a warm tone, and give the person your full attention.
Say Hello, it is good to meet you slowly and clearly.
Offer a handshake or a friendly nod
Where it fits, a short, firm handshake builds trust fast. If a handshake is not right, a smile and a nod work too. Follow the other person’s lead.
Practise a firm, brief, friendly handshake with a friend.
Use their name early
Hearing their own name feels good. Say it once at the start, and it helps you remember it too.
Say Nice to meet you, followed by their name, in the first ten seconds.
Slow down your first sentence
Nerves make us rush. A slower start sounds calm and gives your voice time to settle.
Say your first sentence at about three quarters of your normal speed.
Keep your voice warm
A warm, steady tone does more than clever words. Smile as you speak, and your voice will sound friendlier.
Record yourself saying hello and listen for warmth.
Open your body
Uncrossed arms and relaxed hands feel welcoming. Crossed arms can look closed, even when you feel fine.
Keep your hands relaxed at your sides when you greet someone.
Face the person
Turn your chest and feet toward them. It shows you are present and that they have your attention.
Point your toes toward the person you are talking to.
Put your phone away first
A phone in your hand takes attention away from the person. Put it in your pocket before you greet someone.
Pocket your phone before every introduction today.
Arrive a few minutes early
Being on time shows respect and gives you a calm start. You can settle your breathing before you meet anyone.
Arrive five minutes early to your next meeting.
Prepare a short opening line
A ready first sentence removes the stress of what do I say. It can be as simple as Hi, great to see you.
Write and practise one friendly opening line.
Breathe out slowly
One slow breath out before you meet someone relaxes your body and voice. It takes only a few seconds.
Breathe out slowly just before you greet the next person.
Walk in with calm energy
Move at a relaxed, steady pace with your head up. It signals confidence even if you feel nervous.
Walk into a room slowly and look up before you speak.
Keep a pleasant resting face
Your face tells a story even when you are quiet. A relaxed expression with a gentle smile shows you are friendly.
Check your face in a mirror when you are not talking.
Dress for comfort and care
Clean, tidy clothes that you feel good in help you stand taller. It is about feeling ready, not looking fancy.
Choose an outfit you feel comfortable in for your next event.
Show real interest
People can sense real interest. Look at them, listen to their first words and respond to what they say.
Ask one question about them in the first minute.
Lead with warmth, then skill
People decide first if you are friendly, and then if you are capable. Start with kindness and the rest will follow.
Open with a warm comment before you talk about your work.
Start with something positive
A positive first comment sets a good mood. Avoid starting with complaints, even small ones.
Open with a happy remark, like I love this place.
Match their energy
Match their volume and pace a little. It helps them feel comfortable around you.
Notice the other person’s pace and adjust yours slightly.
Respect personal space
Stand about an arm’s length away, and a little further if you do not know the person. Too close can feel uncomfortable.
Keep an arm’s length and watch how they react.
Keep your hands calm
Fidgeting can look nervous. Let your hands rest, or hold a drink, so they feel natural.
Hold a glass or a notebook to give your hands something to do.
Nod gently as they speak
Small nods show you are listening. Keep them slow and natural, not too many.
Nod once or twice while they answer.
Use a short, clear introduction
Say your name and one simple detail, like I am Sam and I work in design. It gives them an easy way to reply.
Write a ten word introduction about yourself.
Be mindful of culture
Greeting habits differ by country and culture. When you are unsure, smile, say hello and follow the other person’s lead.
Notice how people greet each other where you live or work.
Bring one feeling with you
People remember how you made them feel. Choose one feeling to bring into the room, like calm, friendly or curious.
Before a meeting, pick one feeling to bring: friendly.
Do not rush to impress
You do not need to prove anything in ten seconds. Being relaxed and kind is more impressive than being loud or clever.
Aim to be kind, not impressive, in your next introduction.
Include the whole group
In a group, glance at everyone as you say hello. It makes each person feel included.
Share your hello with every person in a small group.
Listen to their first words
Their first sentence often tells you about their mood. Listen and answer gently.
Repeat one word from their greeting in your reply.
Follow hello with a friendly question
After hello, a small question keeps things moving. How is your day going? works almost anywhere.
Follow every hello with a short question.
Hold your pause
A short pause after hello is fine. It shows you are calm and gives the other person time to answer.
Count one second after hello before you add more.
Soften your face when you are nervous
Nerves can look like frowns. Soften your forehead and relax your jaw, and your face will look kinder.
Relax your jaw and brow before you smile.
Start light
Weather, the place or the event are easy first topics. Save serious subjects for later.
Choose a light first topic: the place, the day or the food.
Let your words and body agree
When your words, face and body match, people trust you. Say hello warmly and mean it.
Take one breath so your hello feels real before you say it.
Practise on video
Watching yourself helps you see what others see. Small changes in posture or smile can make a big difference.
Record a ten second hello and watch it once.
Ask a friend for honest feedback
A trusted friend can tell you how you come across. Ask what works and what you could change.
Ask a friend: What is my first impression like?
Remember it is only a start
A first impression is a beginning, not a final decision. Good conversation and kindness can change any start.
If your start feels awkward, smile and keep going.
Recover from a rough start
If you stumble, smile and say Let me try that again. Most people find it charming and human.
Practise a recovery line: Let me try that again!
Make it a habit
First impressions improve with practice. A few small habits, like a smile and a clear hello, will serve you for life.
Choose two habits from this lesson and use them every day this week.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work almost anywhere.
“Hello, it’s really good to meet you.”
“Hi, I’m … Nice to meet you.”
“I’ve heard such good things about you!”
“How is your day going so far?”
“What brought you here today?”
“Sorry, let me start again. Hi, I’m …”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Smile before you say hello
Check your posture in a mirror
Use someone’s name in the first ten seconds
Greet three people with a clear hello
Practise a handshake or a friendly nod
Open with a warm comment
Meet someone new and use all your habits
Further reading
- Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards. Everyday habits that help you connect with people quickly.
- Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy. How your posture and mindset shape how you feel and come across.
- Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. How quickly we form impressions of people and situations.
Photos are from Unsplash and used under the Unsplash licence. The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.
More lessons in “Starting Conversations”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Approaching Someone NaturallyNext: 10 Easy Opening Lines →
- Overcoming Shyness
- Approaching Someone Naturally
- The First 10 Seconds
- 10 Easy Opening Lines
- Eye Contact & Body Language
- Asking Good Questions
- Keeping a Conversation Going
- Active Listening
- Handling Awkward Silence
- Ending a Conversation Politely
- Meeting a New Coworker
- Talking to Your Manager
- Small Talk Before Meetings
- Business Networking Events
- Starting Conversations with Customers
- Professional Introductions
- Following Up After Meeting Someone
- Starting Conversations at the Gym
- Giving Respectful Compliments
- Talking About Workouts
- Meeting People at Sports Clubs
- Respecting Personal Space
- From Gym Acquaintance to Friend
- Starting Conversations at Parties
- Joining a Group Conversation
- Introducing Yourself at Events
- Talking to Friends of Friends
- Finding Common Interests
- Moving Beyond Small Talk
- Exchanging Contact Information
- Conversations at Coffee Shops
- Talking at Stores & Bookshops
- Meeting Your Neighbours
- Talking While Waiting in Line
- Talking to Someone You Find Attractive
- First Messages on Dating Apps
- Talking Across Cultures
- Overcoming Language Barriers
- Handling Rejection Respectfully
- Turning Introductions into Friendships
