Ask Good Questions Every Time
Eighteen easy tips to ask good questions every time, so conversations feel deep, warm and fun.
Curious is kind. Good questions open hearts.
24 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why good questions matter
People love to feel understood. Thoughtful questions show care and make chats memorable.
Ask well.
Use open questions
Start with what, how or tell me about. They invite longer, richer answers.
Go open.
Ask about the person, not just the job
Ask about hopes, hobbies and challenges. People are more than their titles.
Ask about life.
Follow up on what they said
Ask, how did that feel? Follow-ups show you listened.
Follow up.
Ask about their goals
What are you hoping to do next year? Goals reveal how you can help.
Ask goals.
Ask about their lessons
What has this taught you? Lessons create deep talks.
Ask lessons.
Keep a list of questions
Save five good questions in your phone. A list prevents blanks.
Keep a list.
Wait for the answer
Silence is fine. Give them time to think.
Wait.
Script: week
What has been the best part of your week so far? Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: goals
What are you looking forward to this year? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: follow-up
That sounds interesting, how did you feel about it? Say it with interest.
Use it.
Mistake: interrogating
Too many questions feel like a quiz, so mix in comments.
Mix it up.
Troubleshoot: when they give short answers
Try a different topic or share a small story first. Ease in.
Share first.
Troubleshoot: when you run out of questions
Ask about the place, food or news. Easy topics help.
Use easy topics.
Drill: write five questions
Write five good questions and use two in your next chat.
Write five.
Drill: practise one follow-up
Use one follow-up question in each chat this week.
Try it.
Ask about challenges
What has been the hardest part lately? Honest questions go deeper.
Ask it.
Ask about hopes
What are you looking forward to? Hopes bring energy.
Ask it.
Ask about learning
What have you learned recently? People love teaching.
Ask it.
Ask about support
How can I support you? It shows care.
Ask it.
Example: the follow-up question
Lila asked, how did that interview go? He told her everything.
Follow up.
Example: the shared joy question
Tom asked, what are you proud of this year? She beamed.
Ask about pride.
Troubleshoot: when they answer briefly
Share your own answer first and wait kindly.
Share first.
Prepare one funny or light question for the start
A light question, like what is your favourite meal this month, warms up the chat before deeper topics begin.
Write a light one.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“What has been the best part of your week?”
“How did that feel?”
“What are you hoping for?”
“What did you learn from that?”
“I would love to hear more.”
“Thanks for sharing.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick three questions
Ask one
Listen
Follow up
Share a little
Thank them
Remember
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Maintaining Your Network”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Meet for Coffee or a WalkNext: Remember What Matters to Them →
- Set a Gentle Rhythm
- Send Birthday and Congrats Notes
- Share Articles They Will Like
- Meet for Coffee or a Walk
- Ask Good Questions Every Time
- Remember What Matters to Them
- Reconnect With Quiet Contacts
- Support People in Hard Times
- Celebrate Their Wins
- Review Your Network Each Year
- Meet One New Person a Month
- Build a Circle You Can Trust
