Support People in Hard Times
Eighteen easy tips to support people in hard times, so your care shows when it matters most.
Be there. Small kindness is big.
26 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why support matters
People never forget those who showed up in hard times. Simple care builds deep and lasting bonds.
Reach out.
Notice when someone struggles
Watch for news, posts or changes. Care starts with noticing.
Notice.
Reach out quickly
A short message soon is better than a perfect message late. Say you are thinking of them.
Send a note.
Listen without fixing
Let them share without giving advice. Being heard is a big comfort.
Just listen.
Offer specific help
Say, can I bring dinner on Thursday? Specific offers are easier to accept.
Offer one thing.
Avoid empty phrases
Skip lines like everything happens for a reason. Say, I am so sorry.
Be simple.
Give space when needed
Let them respond in their own time. Do not push.
Give space.
Check in again later
Hard times last longer than the first week. A later message means a lot.
Check in later.
Script: care
I am thinking of you and I am here if you need anything. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: offer
Could I bring dinner or help with errands this week? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: later
I was thinking of you, how are you doing today? Say it gently.
Use it.
Mistake: staying silent because you fear saying the wrong thing
Silence hurts more, so say something simple.
Say something.
Mistake: comparing their pain to others
It makes them feel unseen, so stay with them.
Stay with them.
Troubleshoot: when you live far away
Send a card, a message or a short call. Distance does not stop care.
Reach out.
Troubleshoot: when you feel helpless
Small acts help, such as listening or sending food. Do what you can.
Do small things.
Drill: send one care message
Send a caring message to someone going through something hard.
Send one.
Drill: plan one supportive act
Plan one practical help such as a meal or a ride.
Plan it.
Send a message without needing a reply
Say, no need to reply, just thinking of you.
Take pressure off.
Send a small gift or meal
A simple meal can be a great help.
Send a meal.
Offer practical help
Offer to run an errand or cover a task.
Offer a task.
Check in after the first week
People often get less help later. A message at week four means a lot.
Check in later.
Example: the quiet card
Jo sent a card to a friend after a loss. The friend kept it.
Send a card.
Example: the practical help
Lina offered to walk a friend’s dog while he was sick. He cried with relief.
Offer help.
Mistake: saying call me if you need anything
It puts the burden on them. Offer something specific.
Be specific.
Troubleshoot: when you do not know the right words
Say, I do not know what to say, but I am here.
Be honest.
Drill: write a caring message template
Write a gentle message and save it.
Write it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“I am thinking of you.”
“I am here to listen.”
“Can I bring dinner?”
“Take all the time you need.”
“How are you today?”
“I am here for you.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Notice
Reach out
Listen
Offer help
Give space
Check in again
Stay kind
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Maintaining Your Network”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Reconnect With Quiet ContactsNext: Celebrate Their Wins →
- Set a Gentle Rhythm
- Send Birthday and Congrats Notes
- Share Articles They Will Like
- Meet for Coffee or a Walk
- Ask Good Questions Every Time
- Remember What Matters to Them
- Reconnect With Quiet Contacts
- Support People in Hard Times
- Celebrate Their Wins
- Review Your Network Each Year
- Meet One New Person a Month
- Build a Circle You Can Trust
