LESSON 12 · MAINTAINING YOUR NETWORK
Build a Circle You Can Trust
Eighteen easy tips to build a circle you can trust, so your network becomes a warm team.
Trust is the goal. Build it slowly.
24 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
24 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
TIP 1
Why trust matters
A trusted circle gives advice, honest feedback and support. It is worth more than hundreds of loose contacts.
TIP 2
Be reliable
Do what you say and arrive on time. Reliability is the base of trust.
TIP 3
Be honest and kind
Tell the truth gently. People trust honest friends.
TIP 4
Keep private things private
Never share secrets. A safe friend is rare and valuable.
TIP 5
Share credit
Give thanks to others for their help. Generous people attract allies.
TIP 6
Support them in public and private
Speak well of people. Loyalty builds trust.
TIP 7
Ask for honest feedback
Trust grows when you can speak honestly. Ask, what could I do better?
TIP 8
Choose wisely who joins
Look for people who share your values. A smaller, kinder circle is stronger.
TRY THIS
Choose carefully.
TIP 9
Script: trust
I will always be honest with you, and I hope you can do the same. Say it warmly.
TIP 10
Script: support
I am here for you whenever you need. Say it kindly.
TIP 11
Script: thanks
I really appreciate your honesty, it helps me grow. Say it sincerely.
TIP 12
Mistake: sharing secrets
It destroys trust, so keep them safe.
TIP 13
Troubleshoot: when someone breaks trust
Talk calmly, listen and decide what you need. Not everyone should stay close.
TIP 14
Troubleshoot: when you feel alone
Join a group and invest in two friendships. Slow steps help.
TIP 15
Drill: name your inner circle
Write five people you trust and one way to thank each.
TIP 16
Drill: do one trust-building act
Keep one promise and share one honest thought this week.
TIP 17
Keep promises, even tiny ones
If you say you will send it, send it.
TIP 18
Be kind about others behind their back
Speak of people as if they are in the room.
TIP 19
Example: the honest friend
Jo told a friend gently that a plan was risky. The friend thanked her later.
TRY THIS
Be honest kindly.
TIP 20
Example: the secret kept
Anil kept a confidence for years. Later, that friend opened doors for him.
TIP 21
Troubleshoot: when you feel let down
Talk calmly and say what hurt. Many fix things.
TIP 22
Drill: write down five trusted people
Write them and one way to thank each.
TIP 23
Practise being a safe place for secrets
Keeping private things private is the strongest sign of trust, so decide today to be that safe person for others.
TRY THIS
Make a promise to yourself.
TIP 24
Check in on your circle once a quarter
A short message every three months to your closest people keeps the circle warm and shows you are still there.
TRY THIS
Set quarterly reminders.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
HONEST
“I will be honest with you.”
SHARE
“Let me share what I know.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.