Reconnect With Quiet Contacts
Eighteen easy tips to reconnect with quiet contacts, so old links turn warm again with no awkwardness.
It is never too late. Say hello kindly.
25 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Give and Take (Adam Grant), Platonic (Marisa Franco), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why reconnect
Old contacts often welcome a hello. Many are glad to be remembered and can bring new chances.
Try it.
List people you miss
Think of past colleagues, classmates and friends. Write ten names.
Write ten.
Pick three to start
Start small to avoid overwhelm. Three is enough this week.
Pick three.
Say it has been a while
Honesty feels warm. Say, it has been a while, I was thinking of you.
Be honest.
Skip the long apology
One light line is enough. Keep the mood bright.
Keep it light.
Share a small update
Tell them one thing about your life. It makes replying easy.
Share one thing.
Ask how they are
A warm question invites a real reply. Be curious.
Ask kindly.
Suggest a catch-up
A call or coffee is a nice next step. Offer two options.
Offer two.
Script: hello
Hi Maya, it has been a while and I was thinking of you. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: update
I recently started a new job, and I would love to hear how you are. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: catch up
Would you like to catch up over coffee or a call this month? Say it lightly.
Use it.
Mistake: apologising too much
Heavy apologies make it awkward, so keep it light.
Keep light.
Mistake: asking for a favour straight away
It feels like using them, so reconnect first.
Reconnect first.
Mistake: waiting for the perfect moment
Perfect never comes, so send it now.
Send it.
Troubleshoot: when they do not reply
Do not take it personally, as people are busy. Try again later.
Be patient.
Troubleshoot: when you feel shy
Imagine they would be pleased to hear from you, because most are. Send a short note.
Send a note.
Drill: reconnect with one person this week
Send one warm hello to someone you have not talked to in a year.
Send one.
Drill: make an old friends list
Write ten people you would like to reconnect with.
Write ten.
Be honest that time has passed
Admit the gap with a smile. It builds trust.
Be honest.
Mention a shared memory
Remember our project together? Memories open doors.
Name one.
Ask about their current work
People love sharing what they do now.
Ask kindly.
Offer to meet when convenient
No pressure, just a catch-up when you can.
Offer lightly.
Example: the five-year gap
Mia wrote, I was thinking of our team days. They met for coffee within a week.
Write one.
Example: the school friend
Tom messaged an old classmate with a funny photo. They laughed for an hour.
Send a photo.
Troubleshoot: when they have changed jobs
Ask about the new role and congratulate them.
Congratulate.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“Hi Maya, it has been a while.”
“I was thinking of you.”
“How have things been?”
“Here is my news.”
“Would you like to catch up?”
“Hope to hear from you.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
List old contacts
Pick three
Write a warm hello
Send it
Wait kindly
Reply fast
Plan a call
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- Platonic (Marisa Franco)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Maintaining Your Network”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Remember What Matters to ThemNext: Support People in Hard Times →
- Set a Gentle Rhythm
- Send Birthday and Congrats Notes
- Share Articles They Will Like
- Meet for Coffee or a Walk
- Ask Good Questions Every Time
- Remember What Matters to Them
- Reconnect With Quiet Contacts
- Support People in Hard Times
- Celebrate Their Wins
- Review Your Network Each Year
- Meet One New Person a Month
- Build a Circle You Can Trust
