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Confidence / Confidence at Work / Lesson 15
LESSON 15 · CONFIDENCE AT WORK

Ask for Feedback Regularly

Thirty-two easy ways to ask your boss for feedback regularly, so you grow faster and worry less.

Feedback is a shortcut to growth. Ask early and often.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Lean In (Sheryl Sandberg), The Confidence Code (Katty Kay and Claire Shipman), Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Ask for feedback regularly
TIP 1

Ask for feedback regularly

People who ask for feedback often grow faster, and colleagues usually respect them for it. Regular, small requests are less scary than waiting for an annual review. Ask specific questions and listen without defending.

TRY THIS
Ask one colleague this week: “What’s one thing I could do better on this project?”
Photo for the tip: Ask specific questions
TIP 2

Ask specific questions

“How was my presentation pacing?”

TRY THIS
Write one.
Photo for the tip: Ask one thing
TIP 3

Ask one thing

Not everything.

TRY THIS
Pick.
Photo for the tip: Ask soon
TIP 4

Ask soon

After the event.

TRY THIS
Plan.
Photo for the tip: Ask the right person
TIP 5

Ask the right person

Someone who saw it.

TRY THIS
Choose.
Photo for the tip: Ask kindly
TIP 6

Ask kindly

“I’d value your view.”

TRY THIS
Say it.
Photo for the tip: Ask with curiosity
TIP 7

Ask with curiosity

Not fear.

TRY THIS
Breathe.
Photo for the tip: Take notes
TIP 8

Take notes

Show respect.

TRY THIS
Write.
Photo for the tip: Clarify
TIP 9

Clarify

“Can you give an example?”

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Summarise
TIP 10

Summarise

“So I should…”

TRY THIS
Say it.
Photo for the tip: Act on it
TIP 11

Act on it

Visible change.

TRY THIS
Choose a step.
Photo for the tip: Report back
TIP 12

Report back

“I tried your tip.”

TRY THIS
Tell them.
Photo for the tip: Avoid excuses
TIP 13

Avoid excuses

Listen first.

TRY THIS
Hold.
Photo for the tip: Avoid arguing
TIP 14

Avoid arguing

Reflect later.

TRY THIS
Wait.
Photo for the tip: Avoid fishing for praise
TIP 15

Avoid fishing for praise

Ask for growth.

TRY THIS
Rephrase.
Photo for the tip: Avoid asking too often
TIP 16

Avoid asking too often

Space it out.

TRY THIS
Plan monthly.
Photo for the tip: Avoid only asking friends
TIP 17

Avoid only asking friends

Include diverse views.

TRY THIS
Widen.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after a meeting
TIP 18

Scene: after a meeting

Ask a peer.

TRY THIS
Do it.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after a project
TIP 19

Scene: after a project

Ask the sponsor.

TRY THIS
Book.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after a presentation
TIP 20

Scene: after a presentation

Ask the audience.

TRY THIS
Survey.
Photo for the tip: Scene: one-to-one with boss
TIP 21

Scene: one-to-one with boss

Ask about growth.

TRY THIS
Prepare.
Photo for the tip: Scene: with direct reports
TIP 22

Scene: with direct reports

Ask how you lead.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: with clients
TIP 23

Scene: with clients

Ask about service.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: with mentors
TIP 24

Scene: with mentors

Ask for stretch ideas.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: anonymously
TIP 25

Scene: anonymously

Use forms.

TRY THIS
Try.
Photo for the tip: Scene: written feedback
TIP 26

Scene: written feedback

Reread twice.

TRY THIS
Reflect.
Photo for the tip: Scene: unclear feedback
TIP 27

Scene: unclear feedback

Ask again.

TRY THIS
Clarify.
Photo for the tip: Scene: harsh feedback
TIP 28

Scene: harsh feedback

Filter useful parts.

TRY THIS
Breathe.
Photo for the tip: Scene: conflicting feedback
TIP 29

Scene: conflicting feedback

Find themes.

TRY THIS
Compare.
Photo for the tip: Scene: praise only
TIP 30

Scene: praise only

Ask for growth ideas.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: no response
TIP 31

Scene: no response

Try another person.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Build a feedback habit
TIP 32

Build a feedback habit

Monthly.

TRY THIS
Schedule.
Photo for the tip: Track themes
TIP 33

Track themes

Notebook.

TRY THIS
Start.
Photo for the tip: Choose one focus
TIP 34

Choose one focus

Per quarter.

TRY THIS
Pick.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate growth
TIP 35

Celebrate growth

Look back.

TRY THIS
Review.
Photo for the tip: Give feedback too
TIP 36

Give feedback too

Reciprocity.

TRY THIS
Offer.
Photo for the tip: Be patient
TIP 37

Be patient

Skill grows.

TRY THIS
Keep going.
Photo for the tip: Seek help
TIP 38

Seek help

Coaching.

TRY THIS
Consider it.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate
TIP 39

Celebrate

You asked.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Close with growth
TIP 40

Close with growth

Say, “Feedback is fuel.”

TRY THIS
Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

ASK

“Could I get some feedback on my work?”

SPECIFY

“How was my presentation today?”

LISTEN

“Thank you, that is helpful.”

CLARIFY

“Could you give me an example?”

PLAN

“I will try that next week.”

CLOSE

“I appreciate your time.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick a regular time
DAY 2
Ask a clear question
DAY 3
Listen well
DAY 4
Take notes
DAY 5
Say thanks
DAY 6
Act on one thing
DAY 7
Follow up

Further reading

  • Lean In (Sheryl Sandberg)
  • The Confidence Code (Katty Kay and Claire Shipman)
  • Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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Next lesson: Receive Criticism Without Crumbling →

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Confidence at Work”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Look Confident in Video MeetingsNext: Receive Criticism Without Crumbling →

  1. Prepare Your Three Stories
  2. Answer "Tell Me About Yourself" Well
  3. Handle the Question You Fear
  4. Ask Great Questions Back
  5. Talk About Your Strengths Without Bragging
  6. Recover From a Bad Answer
  7. Follow Up With a Winning Note
  8. Speak in the First Ten Minutes
  9. Prepare One Point Before Every Meeting
  10. Disagree With a Colleague Kindly
  11. Handle Being Interrupted
  12. Share Credit and Claim Yours
  13. Speak Up in a Big Group
  14. Look Confident in Video Meetings
  15. Ask for Feedback Regularly
  16. Receive Criticism Without Crumbling
  17. Ask for a Raise With Evidence
  18. Share Ideas Without Fear
  19. Say No to Extra Work Politely
  20. Report Problems Early
  21. Show Your Value Every Month
  22. Introduce Yourself in a New Team
  23. Make Friends at Work
  24. Ask for Help Without Shame
  25. Handle a Difficult Colleague
  26. Stop Being the Office Pushover
  27. Celebrate Others and Be Celebrated
  28. Build Your Reputation Quietly
  29. Take on a Stretch Project
  30. Overcome Impostor Syndrome
  31. Lead Without a Title
  32. Give Your First Presentation
  33. Mentor Someone Newer
  34. Handle a Mistake at Work
  35. Set a Career Goal You Believe In
  36. Learn One New Skill Every Quarter
  37. Network Without Feeling Fake
  38. Say Yes to Opportunities That Scare You
  39. Protect Your Energy and Balance
  40. Your Confidence at Work Plan
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