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Confidence / Confidence at Work / Lesson 23
LESSON 23 · CONFIDENCE AT WORK

Make Friends at Work

Thirty-two easy ways to make friends at work, because good friends make hard days lighter and good days better.

Work friends help you thrive. Start small and stay kind.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Lean In (Sheryl Sandberg), The Confidence Code (Katty Kay and Claire Shipman), Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Make friends at work
TIP 1

Make friends at work

Having friends at work makes the day lighter and helps teams collaborate. Friendship at work does not need to be deep; small, regular, friendly moments build real bonds. Gallup’s workplace research has repeatedly linked having a close friend at work with higher engagement.

TRY THIS
Invite one colleague for a ten-minute coffee this week.
Photo for the tip: Start with hello
TIP 2

Start with hello

Daily.

TRY THIS
Greet.
Photo for the tip: Learn one fact
TIP 3

Learn one fact

Per person.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Ask about weekends
TIP 4

Ask about weekends

Light.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Ask about hobbies
TIP 5

Ask about hobbies

Light.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Share a little
TIP 6

Share a little

Reciprocal.

TRY THIS
Share.
Photo for the tip: Offer small help
TIP 7

Offer small help

Kind.

TRY THIS
Offer.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate birthdays
TIP 8

Celebrate birthdays

Simple.

TRY THIS
Note dates.
Photo for the tip: Join lunch
TIP 9

Join lunch

Occasionally.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Join coffee breaks
TIP 10

Join coffee breaks

Short.

TRY THIS
Go.
Photo for the tip: Join clubs
TIP 11

Join clubs

Run, book, games.

TRY THIS
Join.
Photo for the tip: Join volunteering
TIP 12

Join volunteering

Together.

TRY THIS
Sign up.
Photo for the tip: Invite to events
TIP 13

Invite to events

Easy.

TRY THIS
Invite.
Photo for the tip: Keep boundaries
TIP 14

Keep boundaries

Professional.

TRY THIS
Know limits.
Photo for the tip: Avoid gossip
TIP 15

Avoid gossip

Builds distrust.

TRY THIS
Decline.
Photo for the tip: Avoid favouritism
TIP 16

Avoid favouritism

Fair.

TRY THIS
Check.
Photo for the tip: Avoid oversharing
TIP 17

Avoid oversharing

Gradual.

TRY THIS
Pace.
Photo for the tip: Avoid pressure
TIP 18

Avoid pressure

Allow no.

TRY THIS
Respect.
Photo for the tip: Scene: new colleague
TIP 19

Scene: new colleague

Show them around.

TRY THIS
Offer.
Photo for the tip: Scene: shy colleague
TIP 20

Scene: shy colleague

Invite gently.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: remote colleague
TIP 21

Scene: remote colleague

Virtual coffee.

TRY THIS
Book.
Photo for the tip: Scene: different generation
TIP 22

Scene: different generation

Curious.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: different department
TIP 23

Scene: different department

Cross-team lunch.

TRY THIS
Plan.
Photo for the tip: Scene: your boss
TIP 24

Scene: your boss

Keep warm and professional.

TRY THIS
Balance.
Photo for the tip: Scene: after a conflict
TIP 25

Scene: after a conflict

Repair kindly.

TRY THIS
Reach out.
Photo for the tip: Scene: a colleague struggling
TIP 26

Scene: a colleague struggling

Check in.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Scene: someone leaves
TIP 27

Scene: someone leaves

Stay in touch.

TRY THIS
Message.
Photo for the tip: Scene: social events
TIP 28

Scene: social events

Attend sometimes.

TRY THIS
Go.
Photo for the tip: Scene: introvert
TIP 29

Scene: introvert

Prefer one-to-one.

TRY THIS
Plan.
Photo for the tip: Scene: extrovert
TIP 30

Scene: extrovert

Include quiet people.

TRY THIS
Invite.
Photo for the tip: Make a ritual
TIP 31

Make a ritual

Weekly walk.

TRY THIS
Schedule.
Photo for the tip: Make a channel
TIP 32

Make a channel

Fun chat.

TRY THIS
Create.
Photo for the tip: Make a tradition
TIP 33

Make a tradition

Team lunch.

TRY THIS
Start.
Photo for the tip: Be consistent
TIP 34

Be consistent

Show up.

TRY THIS
Keep going.
Photo for the tip: Be sincere
TIP 35

Be sincere

Authentic.

TRY THIS
Smile.
Photo for the tip: Be inclusive
TIP 36

Be inclusive

Everyone.

TRY THIS
Check.
Photo for the tip: Be patient
TIP 37

Be patient

Friendship grows.

TRY THIS
Wait.
Photo for the tip: Seek help
TIP 38

Seek help

If isolated, talk to HR or a mentor.

TRY THIS
Ask.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate
TIP 39

Celebrate

A new friend.

TRY THIS
Mark it.
Photo for the tip: Close with warmth
TIP 40

Close with warmth

Say, “Work is better with friends.”

TRY THIS
Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

GREET

“Good morning, how was your weekend?”

INVITE

“Would you like to grab lunch?”

SHARE

“I enjoy hiking on weekends.”

LISTEN

“That sounds interesting, tell me more.”

THANK

“Thanks for helping me today.”

CLOSE

“It is great working with you.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Say hello daily
DAY 2
Ask about their life
DAY 3
Invite for lunch
DAY 4
Join team events
DAY 5
Help others
DAY 6
Be reliable
DAY 7
Keep it respectful

Further reading

  • Lean In (Sheryl Sandberg)
  • The Confidence Code (Katty Kay and Claire Shipman)
  • Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All Confidence at Work lessons
Next lesson: Ask for Help Without Shame →

More lessons in “Confidence at Work”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Introduce Yourself in a New TeamNext: Ask for Help Without Shame →

  1. Prepare Your Three Stories
  2. Answer "Tell Me About Yourself" Well
  3. Handle the Question You Fear
  4. Ask Great Questions Back
  5. Talk About Your Strengths Without Bragging
  6. Recover From a Bad Answer
  7. Follow Up With a Winning Note
  8. Speak in the First Ten Minutes
  9. Prepare One Point Before Every Meeting
  10. Disagree With a Colleague Kindly
  11. Handle Being Interrupted
  12. Share Credit and Claim Yours
  13. Speak Up in a Big Group
  14. Look Confident in Video Meetings
  15. Ask for Feedback Regularly
  16. Receive Criticism Without Crumbling
  17. Ask for a Raise With Evidence
  18. Share Ideas Without Fear
  19. Say No to Extra Work Politely
  20. Report Problems Early
  21. Show Your Value Every Month
  22. Introduce Yourself in a New Team
  23. Make Friends at Work
  24. Ask for Help Without Shame
  25. Handle a Difficult Colleague
  26. Stop Being the Office Pushover
  27. Celebrate Others and Be Celebrated
  28. Build Your Reputation Quietly
  29. Take on a Stretch Project
  30. Overcome Impostor Syndrome
  31. Lead Without a Title
  32. Give Your First Presentation
  33. Mentor Someone Newer
  34. Handle a Mistake at Work
  35. Set a Career Goal You Believe In
  36. Learn One New Skill Every Quarter
  37. Network Without Feeling Fake
  38. Say Yes to Opportunities That Scare You
  39. Protect Your Energy and Balance
  40. Your Confidence at Work Plan
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