LESSON 10 · FINDING THE JOB YOU WANT

Handle Rejection in a Job Search

Eighteen easy tips to handle rejection in a job search, so you stay hopeful and keep moving.

A no is not the end. Learn and keep going.

26 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

26 tips that really help

These ideas come from What Color Is Your Parachute? (Richard Bolles), Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans), The 2-Hour Job Search (Steve Dalton), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Why rejection hurts
TIP 1

Why rejection hurts

You care, so a no stings. It is normal and does not mean you are not good enough.

TRY THIS
Be gentle.
Photo for the tip: Allow yourself to feel it
TIP 2

Allow yourself to feel it

Give yourself a short time to be sad. Feelings pass faster when you accept them.

TRY THIS
Feel it.
Photo for the tip: Remember it is about fit
TIP 3

Remember it is about fit

Many hires are about timing, budget or small fit. It is rarely about your value.

TRY THIS
Reframe it.
Photo for the tip: Reply with thanks
TIP 4

Reply with thanks

Thank them for their time. A kind answer leaves doors open.

TRY THIS
Say thanks.
Photo for the tip: Ask for feedback
TIP 5

Ask for feedback

Politely ask if they can share one tip. Some will help.

TRY THIS
Ask kindly.
Photo for the tip: Write the lesson
TIP 6

Write the lesson

Note one thing you learned from each rejection. Learning turns pain into progress.

TRY THIS
Write one.
Photo for the tip: Talk to a friend
TIP 7

Talk to a friend

Share your feelings with someone kind. Talking lightens the load.

TRY THIS
Call a friend.
Photo for the tip: Move your body
TIP 8

Move your body

A walk lowers stress and clears your mind. Do it daily.

TRY THIS
Walk daily.
Photo for the tip: Script: thanks reply
TIP 9

Script: thanks reply

Thank you for letting me know, I appreciate the opportunity. Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: feedback ask
TIP 10

Script: feedback ask

If you have a moment, could you share one tip for improving? Say it politely.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: self talk
TIP 11

Script: self talk

One no does not define me, and I will keep going. Say it firmly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: taking it as proof you are not good
TIP 12

Mistake: taking it as proof you are not good

It is not proof, so stay kind to yourself.

TRY THIS
Be kind.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: stopping all applications
TIP 13

Mistake: stopping all applications

Pausing too long loses momentum, so take a short rest.

TRY THIS
Rest briefly.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you feel hopeless
TIP 14

Troubleshoot: when you feel hopeless

Talk to someone you trust and consider a counsellor. You are not alone.

TRY THIS
Reach out.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when rejections pile up
TIP 15

Troubleshoot: when rejections pile up

Review your CV and approach with a friend. Adjust.

TRY THIS
Review it.
Photo for the tip: Drill: write a rejection plan
TIP 16

Drill: write a rejection plan

Write three things you will do after a no.

TRY THIS
Write three.
Photo for the tip: Drill: celebrate one small win
TIP 17

Drill: celebrate one small win

Notice and celebrate one small step each week.

TRY THIS
Celebrate.
Photo for the tip: Name the feeling
TIP 18

Name the feeling

Say, I feel disappointed. Naming feelings reduces their power.

TRY THIS
Name it.
Photo for the tip: Look at what you can control
TIP 19

Look at what you can control

You cannot control the decision, but you can control your next step.

TRY THIS
List controls.
Photo for the tip: Example: the comeback
TIP 20

Example: the comeback

After ten rejections, Mia changed her CV and got an interview on the next try.

TRY THIS
Review your CV.
Photo for the tip: Example: the kind reply
TIP 21

Example: the kind reply

Jo thanked a recruiter after a no. Months later the recruiter called with a better role.

TRY THIS
Reply kindly.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: taking it as a judgment on your worth
TIP 22

Mistake: taking it as a judgment on your worth

Your worth is not a job offer. Be kind to yourself.

TRY THIS
Remind yourself.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you feel numb
TIP 23

Troubleshoot: when you feel numb

Take two days off from searching and rest.

TRY THIS
Rest two days.
Photo for the tip: Drill: write three kind sentences to yourself
TIP 24

Drill: write three kind sentences to yourself

Write three sentences you would tell a friend.

TRY THIS
Write three.
Photo for the tip: Share your search story with one trusted person
TIP 25

Share your search story with one trusted person

Talking about your feelings with a trusted friend lowers stress and reminds you that you are not alone.

TRY THIS
Call a friend.
Photo for the tip: Update your CV after each rejection with one improvement
TIP 26

Update your CV after each rejection with one improvement

Small changes after each no keep you moving and show you that every step can improve your chances.

TRY THIS
Make one change.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.

BREATHE

“I will take a breath first.”

KIND

“It is not about my worth.”

LEARN

“What can I learn?”

THANKS

“Thank you for the chance.”

NEXT

“On to the next one.”

CLOSE

“I keep going.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Feel it
DAY 2
Breathe
DAY 3
Reply kindly
DAY 4
Ask for feedback
DAY 5
Learn
DAY 6
Rest
DAY 7
Try again

Further reading

  • What Color Is Your Parachute? (Richard Bolles)
  • Designing Your Life (Bill Burnett and Dave Evans)
  • The 2-Hour Job Search (Steve Dalton)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

More lessons in “Finding the Job You Want”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Apply to Fewer Jobs, BetterNext: Keep a Weekly Job-Search Plan →

  1. Find Your Strengths and Interests
  2. Describe Your Ideal Job
  3. Research Roles and Companies
  4. Write a Clear CV
  5. Write a Cover Letter That Gets Read
  6. Polish Your Online Profile
  7. Use Your Network to Find Jobs
  8. Talk to People in Jobs You Like
  9. Apply to Fewer Jobs, Better
  10. Handle Rejection in a Job Search
  11. Keep a Weekly Job-Search Plan
  12. Look After Your Energy
Scroll to Top