Summarise in Your Own Words
Practical ways to summarise in your own words, so customers feel heard and you stay accurate.
A summary is a mirror. Show them what you saw.
10 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy), The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.
Summaries prove understanding
A short recap in your own words shows the customer you absorbed their meaning, not just their sounds.
Practise after each section.
Use your own words
Paraphrasing demonstrates comprehension better than repeating their sentences exactly.
Rephrase simply.
Keep the summary brief
Two or three sentences are enough, and a short recap is easier for the customer to confirm.
Limit yourself to three points.
Start with a natural lead-in
Phrases like so what I am hearing is make the recap feel like part of the conversation.
Choose two openers you like.
Cover facts and feelings
Mention both what happened and how they feel about it, so they feel truly understood.
Balance the two.
Check your accuracy
End with a question such as have I captured that correctly? to invite correction.
Wait for their answer.
Summarise at every transition
A recap before moving to a new topic keeps both sides aligned and prevents drift.
Mark the change clearly.
Leave your opinion out
A summary should stay neutral, so hold your advice until they confirm you understood.
Resist adding ideas.
Use it to calm tension
When emotions run high, calmly recapping shows you are taking the issue seriously.
Try it in conflict.
Write a recap after the call
A short written summary reinforces understanding and gives them a record to share with others.
Send it within a day.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.
“Let me check I have this right.”
“The main issue is timing.”
“And you also want to keep costs down.”
“Have I missed anything?”
“Thank you, that is clear.”
“Shall we look at options?”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Write a three-sentence summary after a call
Say one aloud during a call
Ask “Did I get that right?”
Adjust where wrong
Send a written version
Compare with notes
Practise often
Further reading
- Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
- You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy)
- The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Hear What They Really Mean”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Notice What They Keep RepeatingNext: Ask "Did I Get That Right?" →
- Why Listening Sells More Than Talking
- Give Full Attention, Every Time
- Put Your Phone Away
- Stop Planning Your Reply
- Let Them Finish
- Listen for the Feeling Underneath
- Make Silence Work for You
- Label the Emotion: "It Sounds Like..."
- Mirror Their Last Words
- Say "That Seems Hard" and Mean It
- Use a Calm, Slow Voice
- Say "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
- Get to "That Is Right"
- Why Empathy Is Not Weakness
- Tone Tells More Than Words
- Watch for Hesitation
- What a Long Pause Means
- Spot Buying Signals
- Spot Warning Signs Early
- Ask the Question Behind the Question
- Notice What They Keep Repeating
- Summarise in Your Own Words
- Ask "Did I Get That Right?"
- Write Down Their Exact Phrases
- Use Their Words in Your Proposal
- Clear Up Confusion Kindly
- Confirm Priorities Before Moving On
- Ask "What Else?" One More Time
- Let an Angry Customer Vent
- Stay Calm When They Attack
- Acknowledge Before You Answer
- Handle Interruptions Gracefully
- Listen to a Rambler Without Getting Lost
- When the Customer Is Quiet
- Practise With Friends and Family
- Record and Review a Call
- Count Your Talk Time
- The One-Question-Per-Topic Rule
- Take Better Notes
- Become the Best Listener in the Room
