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Sales Skills / Hear What They Really Mean / Lesson 35
LESSON 35 · HEAR WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Practise With Friends and Family

Practical ways to practise listening with friends and family, where mistakes are safe and progress is fast.

Home is the best training ground. Practise with people who forgive you.

10 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

10 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy), The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Practice is where skill grows
TIP 1

Practice is where skill grows

Friends and family give safe places to improve listening without any risk to a sale.

TRY THIS
Start tonight.
Photo for the tip: Choose one daily listening moment
TIP 2

Choose one daily listening moment

A dinner conversation or a phone call can become your regular training ground.

TRY THIS
Pick a time.
Photo for the tip: Ask open questions at home
TIP 3

Ask open questions at home

Practising curiosity with people you know makes it easy to use with customers.

TRY THIS
Ask three today.
Photo for the tip: Summarise what you hear
TIP 4

Summarise what you hear

Try saying so what you are telling me is, and notice how people respond.

TRY THIS
Check for accuracy.
Photo for the tip: Put your phone away completely
TIP 5

Put your phone away completely

Full attention at home builds the same habit you need at work.

TRY THIS
Leave it in another room.
Photo for the tip: Notice your urge to interrupt
TIP 6

Notice your urge to interrupt

Spotting the impulse is half the battle, so pause when you feel it rising.

TRY THIS
Hold back and wait.
Photo for the tip: Ask for honest feedback
TIP 7

Ask for honest feedback

Request a simple rating of how well you listened and what you could improve.

TRY THIS
Say how was my listening?
Photo for the tip: Try short role plays
TIP 8

Try short role plays

Acting out a customer scene with a friend lets you test new phrases safely.

TRY THIS
Swap roles afterwards.
Photo for the tip: Record yourself in a practice chat
TIP 9

Record yourself in a practice chat

Listening back shows habits you cannot hear in the moment.

TRY THIS
Review for five minutes.
Photo for the tip: Celebrate each improvement
TIP 10

Celebrate each improvement

Marking progress keeps motivation high and makes listening feel rewarding.

TRY THIS
Write one win each week.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

ASK

“How was your day, really?”

ECHO

“That sounds like it was exhausting.”

PAUSE

“(Wait.)”

CHECK

“Did I get that right?”

THANKS

“Thank you for telling me.”

CARE

“I am glad you shared that.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Pick one person to practise with
DAY 2
Ask one real question
DAY 3
Put your phone away
DAY 4
Listen for five minutes
DAY 5
Reflect their feeling
DAY 6
Ask for feedback
DAY 7
Repeat tomorrow

Further reading

  • Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
  • You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy)
  • The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All Hear What They Really Mean lessons
Next lesson: Record and Review a Call →

More lessons in “Hear What They Really Mean”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: When the Customer Is QuietNext: Record and Review a Call →

  1. Why Listening Sells More Than Talking
  2. Give Full Attention, Every Time
  3. Put Your Phone Away
  4. Stop Planning Your Reply
  5. Let Them Finish
  6. Listen for the Feeling Underneath
  7. Make Silence Work for You
  8. Label the Emotion: "It Sounds Like..."
  9. Mirror Their Last Words
  10. Say "That Seems Hard" and Mean It
  11. Use a Calm, Slow Voice
  12. Say "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
  13. Get to "That Is Right"
  14. Why Empathy Is Not Weakness
  15. Tone Tells More Than Words
  16. Watch for Hesitation
  17. What a Long Pause Means
  18. Spot Buying Signals
  19. Spot Warning Signs Early
  20. Ask the Question Behind the Question
  21. Notice What They Keep Repeating
  22. Summarise in Your Own Words
  23. Ask "Did I Get That Right?"
  24. Write Down Their Exact Phrases
  25. Use Their Words in Your Proposal
  26. Clear Up Confusion Kindly
  27. Confirm Priorities Before Moving On
  28. Ask "What Else?" One More Time
  29. Let an Angry Customer Vent
  30. Stay Calm When They Attack
  31. Acknowledge Before You Answer
  32. Handle Interruptions Gracefully
  33. Listen to a Rambler Without Getting Lost
  34. When the Customer Is Quiet
  35. Practise With Friends and Family
  36. Record and Review a Call
  37. Count Your Talk Time
  38. The One-Question-Per-Topic Rule
  39. Take Better Notes
  40. Become the Best Listener in the Room
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