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Sales Skills / Hear What They Really Mean / Lesson 13
LESSON 13 · HEAR WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Get to "That Is Right"

Practical ways to get to “That is right”, the moment a customer feels fully understood.

“That is right” signals deep understanding. Summarise until you hear it.

11 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan
Start with tip 1
Jump to the 7-day plan

11 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy), The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.

Photo for the tip: That is right is the goal
TIP 1

That is right is the goal

When a customer says that is right after you summarise their view, deep understanding has been reached.

TRY THIS
Aim for it in every talk.
Photo for the tip: Summarise their position fully
TIP 2

Summarise their position fully

Include facts, feelings and what matters most in one short paragraph.

TRY THIS
Draft a sample.
Photo for the tip: Use their words
TIP 3

Use their words

Quoting their phrases shows you truly listened.

TRY THIS
Write down key terms.
Photo for the tip: Avoid asking you are right
TIP 4

Avoid asking you are right

If they say you are right, it may be politeness, while that is right shows real agreement.

TRY THIS
Listen for the difference.
Photo for the tip: Pause after the summary
TIP 5

Pause after the summary

Give them space to confirm or correct.

TRY THIS
Wait quietly.
Photo for the tip: Accept corrections gladly
TIP 6

Accept corrections gladly

Each correction brings you closer to their truth.

TRY THIS
Say thank you for fixing that.
Photo for the tip: Check feelings too
TIP 7

Check feelings too

Summarise how they seem to feel as well as what they said.

TRY THIS
Mention emotion softly.
Photo for the tip: Keep it concise
TIP 8

Keep it concise

A long summary loses power, so aim for a few sentences.

TRY THIS
Count your points.
Photo for the tip: Use before proposing
TIP 9

Use before proposing

Reaching that is right before you pitch ensures your offer fits.

TRY THIS
Make it a rule.
Photo for the tip: Practise with friends
TIP 10

Practise with friends

Try summarising what a friend says until they agree.

TRY THIS
Do it daily.
Photo for the tip: Note the effect
TIP 11

Note the effect

After the agreement, customers often relax and open up.

TRY THIS
Observe the change.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.

SUMMARISE

“So the problem is X, and you worry about Y.”

ADD

“And what matters most is Z.”

CHECK

“Is that it?”

WAIT

“(Listen for “That is right”.)”

THANKS

“Thank you.”

NEXT

“Shall we look at options?”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Write a short summary of a customer’s position
DAY 2
Say it back
DAY 3
Listen for their reaction
DAY 4
Adjust and repeat
DAY 5
Notice “That is right”
DAY 6
Avoid “You are right”
DAY 7
Use it before proposing

Further reading

  • Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
  • You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy)
  • The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Hear What They Really Mean”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Say "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"Next: Why Empathy Is Not Weakness →

  1. Why Listening Sells More Than Talking
  2. Give Full Attention, Every Time
  3. Put Your Phone Away
  4. Stop Planning Your Reply
  5. Let Them Finish
  6. Listen for the Feeling Underneath
  7. Make Silence Work for You
  8. Label the Emotion: "It Sounds Like..."
  9. Mirror Their Last Words
  10. Say "That Seems Hard" and Mean It
  11. Use a Calm, Slow Voice
  12. Say "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
  13. Get to "That Is Right"
  14. Why Empathy Is Not Weakness
  15. Tone Tells More Than Words
  16. Watch for Hesitation
  17. What a Long Pause Means
  18. Spot Buying Signals
  19. Spot Warning Signs Early
  20. Ask the Question Behind the Question
  21. Notice What They Keep Repeating
  22. Summarise in Your Own Words
  23. Ask "Did I Get That Right?"
  24. Write Down Their Exact Phrases
  25. Use Their Words in Your Proposal
  26. Clear Up Confusion Kindly
  27. Confirm Priorities Before Moving On
  28. Ask "What Else?" One More Time
  29. Let an Angry Customer Vent
  30. Stay Calm When They Attack
  31. Acknowledge Before You Answer
  32. Handle Interruptions Gracefully
  33. Listen to a Rambler Without Getting Lost
  34. When the Customer Is Quiet
  35. Practise With Friends and Family
  36. Record and Review a Call
  37. Count Your Talk Time
  38. The One-Question-Per-Topic Rule
  39. Take Better Notes
  40. Become the Best Listener in the Room
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