When the Customer Is Quiet
Practical ways to respond when the customer is quiet, so you draw out views without pressure.
Quiet is not the same as agreement. Invite gently.
10 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss), You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy), The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols), and everyday practice. The first six help the most. Pick one and try it today.
Quiet customers still hold thoughts
Silence is not always agreement or disinterest, so do not assume what they think.
Stay curious.
Ask open questions
How and what questions invite sharing more effectively than yes or no ones.
Use them often.
Offer choices to answer
Giving options makes it easier for quiet people to respond.
Make answering simple.
Allow longer pauses
Quiet people often need more time to gather their thoughts before speaking.
Be patient.
Use their preferred medium
Some people open up more in writing than by voice.
Ask what suits them.
Watch for small signals
Nods, smiles and posture can show interest even when words are few.
Observe lightly.
Make it safe to speak
Reassure them there are no wrong answers and that you value their view.
Smile warmly.
Share something first
A brief story or observation can help them feel comfortable to reply.
Offer one.
Avoid pressure
Pushing for answers makes quiet people retreat further.
Slow down.
Follow up in writing
A written summary gives them time to reflect and respond.
Send a note.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many sales conversations.
“I would love to hear your view.”
“There are no wrong answers.”
“Would it help if I asked a few options?”
“(Give time.)”
“Is this working for you?”
“Thank you for sharing.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Ask open, gentle questions
Offer choices
Allow silence
Check comfort
Use their name
Follow up after the meeting
Note what worked
Further reading
- Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss)
- You’re Not Listening (Kate Murphy)
- The Lost Art of Listening (Michael Nichols)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Hear What They Really Mean”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Listen to a Rambler Without Getting LostNext: Practise With Friends and Family →
- Why Listening Sells More Than Talking
- Give Full Attention, Every Time
- Put Your Phone Away
- Stop Planning Your Reply
- Let Them Finish
- Listen for the Feeling Underneath
- Make Silence Work for You
- Label the Emotion: "It Sounds Like..."
- Mirror Their Last Words
- Say "That Seems Hard" and Mean It
- Use a Calm, Slow Voice
- Say "How Am I Supposed to Do That?"
- Get to "That Is Right"
- Why Empathy Is Not Weakness
- Tone Tells More Than Words
- Watch for Hesitation
- What a Long Pause Means
- Spot Buying Signals
- Spot Warning Signs Early
- Ask the Question Behind the Question
- Notice What They Keep Repeating
- Summarise in Your Own Words
- Ask "Did I Get That Right?"
- Write Down Their Exact Phrases
- Use Their Words in Your Proposal
- Clear Up Confusion Kindly
- Confirm Priorities Before Moving On
- Ask "What Else?" One More Time
- Let an Angry Customer Vent
- Stay Calm When They Attack
- Acknowledge Before You Answer
- Handle Interruptions Gracefully
- Listen to a Rambler Without Getting Lost
- When the Customer Is Quiet
- Practise With Friends and Family
- Record and Review a Call
- Count Your Talk Time
- The One-Question-Per-Topic Rule
- Take Better Notes
- Become the Best Listener in the Room
