Turn Contacts Into Allies
Eighteen easy tips to turn contacts into allies, so you build a team of people who support each other.
Allies are made over time. Be a good teammate.
24 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), The Fine Art of the Follow-Up (Steve Gillman), Networking Like a Pro (Ivan Misner), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why allies matter
Allies are people who support you and whom you support. They open doors, share advice and cheer you on.
Build them.
Show up again and again
Trust grows from regular, kind contact. Be present in small ways.
Show up.
Keep your promises
Do what you say, even small things. Reliability earns trust.
Keep promises.
Share ideas and news
Exchange helpful ideas and updates. Shared growth bonds people.
Share ideas.
Celebrate their wins
Cheer for promotions and projects. Joy shared is joy doubled.
Cheer them.
Support them in hard times
Send a kind message or offer help. Presence in hard times builds deep loyalty.
Show care.
Ask for their advice
Asking shows respect. It also makes them feel valued.
Ask advice.
Be loyal and discreet
Keep private things private. Trust is precious.
Be discreet.
Script: support
I am here if you ever want to talk or need a hand. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: celebration
Congratulations, Maya, you really earned this. Say it gladly.
Use it.
Script: advice
You have so much experience, what would you do in my place? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Mistake: only reaching out when you need something
It feels selfish, so keep in touch freely.
Reach out.
Mistake: competing with allies
Competition harms bonds, so cheer them on.
Cheer them.
Troubleshoot: when an ally drifts away
Send a warm note and no blame. People come back.
Reach out.
Troubleshoot: when trust is hurt
Talk honestly and kindly, say sorry if needed, and rebuild step by step.
Repair kindly.
Drill: name three allies
Write three people you would call an ally and one way to support each.
Write them.
Drill: do one supportive act
Do one thing this week to support an ally.
Do it.
Be reliable in small things
Reply fast, share on time and show up. Trust starts small.
Be reliable.
Share your plans with allies
Tell them what you are working on. They may help.
Share a plan.
Ask allies for their goals
Ask about their year. Support grows from understanding.
Ask them.
Example: the study group
Four colleagues met monthly to share goals. All four were promoted within two years.
Start a group.
Example: the accountability partner
Mia and Jo texted each Monday with their goals. Both achieved more.
Find a partner.
Troubleshoot: when an ally goes quiet
Send a warm note with no blame.
Reach out.
Check in on allies without needing a reason
A simple how are you message shows you value them for who they are, not for what they can do for you.
Send a hello.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“I can count on you.”
“I am here for you.”
“Let us share ideas.”
“How can I help?”
“I appreciate you.”
“We make a good team.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Show up
Keep promises
Share ideas
Celebrate them
Support in hard times
Ask for advice
Stay loyal
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- The Fine Art of the Follow-Up (Steve Gillman)
- Networking Like a Pro (Ivan Misner)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Following Up After Events”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Make Follow-Up a Weekly Habit
- Follow Up Within Two Days
- Write Notes Before You Forget
- Sort Your New Contacts
- Write a Short, Warm Message
- Remind Them Where You Met
- Offer Something Useful
- Suggest a Coffee or a Call
- Connect on LinkedIn the Right Way
- Follow Up When They Do Not Reply
- Keep a Simple Tracking List
- Make Follow-Up a Weekly Habit
- Turn Contacts Into Allies
