Why Helpers Win Over Time
Eighteen easy tips to see why helpers win over time, so you give with joy and not with worry.
Kindness comes back. Helpers are remembered.
25 tips that really help
These ideas come from Give and Take (Adam Grant), The Go-Giver (Bob Burg and John David Mann), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why helpers win
People trust and remember those who help without pushing. Over time, kind helpers get more support, ideas and chances.
Start small.
Think long term
A favour today may return in a year in a way you never expected. Giving is a slow, steady investment.
Be patient.
Make kindness a habit
One small act each day builds a reputation for warmth. Reputation opens doors.
Do one act.
Notice what people need
Listen for worries and wishes. Needs are often hidden in small comments.
Listen closely.
Offer help in a clear way
Say, I can send you an article, or, I can introduce you to a friend. Specific offers are easy to accept.
Offer one thing.
Give your best effort
If you offer help, do it well and on time. Quality builds trust.
Do it well.
Expect nothing in return
Give freely and let the other person feel free. Surprises later feel sweeter.
Let go.
Enjoy the good feeling
Helping lifts your own mood. Notice the joy and let it fuel more kindness.
Notice joy.
Script: offering
Is there anything I can do to help with that? Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: sharing
I read something that might help you, can I send it? Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: connecting
I know someone who might help, would you like an introduction? Say it lightly.
Use it.
Mistake: helping only to get something
People feel it, so give from the heart.
Give kindly.
Mistake: overpromising
Do not promise what you cannot deliver, so offer small and keep your word.
Promise less.
Troubleshoot: when you feel taken advantage of
Set kind limits and say what you can offer. Healthy giving has boundaries.
Set limits.
Troubleshoot: when you are new and feel you have nothing to give
Share time, encouragement, a link or a thank you. Small gifts count.
Start small.
Drill: do one kind act today
Help one person today with no strings attached, and note how it feels.
Do it.
Drill: list five ways you can help
Write five things you can offer, such as time, skills or connections. Keep the list.
Write five.
Notice how you feel after helping
Many people feel lighter and happier. Notice it to keep going.
Note the feeling.
Help in the area of your strength
Help where you are strong, because it costs little and means a lot.
Pick your strength.
Help people at all levels
Help interns and seniors alike. You never know who will remember you.
Help someone junior.
Respond fast to small asks
A quick reply can be a gift. Aim to reply within a day.
Reply soon.
Example: the quiet helper
Lena shared a template without being asked. Months later the receiver recommended her for a job.
Share a template.
Example: the connector
Sam introduced two strangers. One of them hired the other and thanked Sam.
Introduce two.
Troubleshoot: when you feel unappreciated
Check your motives, thank yourself and keep giving where it is valued.
Be kind to you.
Drill: keep a kindness log
Write one kind act each day for a week.
Start a log.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“Can I help with that?”
“Here is something that may help.”
“I know someone who could help.”
“I am glad to help.”
“How can I support you?”
“Happy to help anytime.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Notice a need
Offer help
Do it well
Do not expect a return
Notice the joy
Repeat weekly
Share your story
Further reading
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- The Go-Giver (Bob Burg and John David Mann)
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Giving Before Asking”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
