Make Your Request Small and Clear
Eighteen easy tips to make your request small and clear, so people can say yes in seconds.
Small asks get answers. Clear is kind.
26 tips that really help
These ideas come from Give and Take (Adam Grant), The Go-Giver (Bob Burg and John David Mann), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why small asks work
Small, clear requests are easy to say yes to. Big, fuzzy requests make people feel stuck.
Shrink it.
Pick one exact request
Decide the precise thing you want, such as an introduction, a review or a short chat.
Name it.
Make it quick
Say how long it will take, such as ten minutes. A time limit makes it feel safe.
Add a time.
Say why it matters
Briefly say why you ask. A reason helps people care.
Add a reason.
Offer a clear deadline
Say, by Friday if possible. A kind deadline keeps things moving.
Add a date.
Make it easy to do
Provide links, drafts or a short note. The easier it is, the more likely they help.
Prepare it.
Give them an easy no
Say, fine if not, thank you either way. It reduces pressure.
Add a kind line.
Return the favour
Offer to help them in some way. Giving builds goodwill.
Offer back.
Script: the ask
Could you review my CV for ten minutes this week? Say it politely.
Use it.
Script: the reason
It would help me prepare for an interview on Friday. Say it clearly.
Use it.
Script: the exit
No worries at all if you are busy, thank you either way. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Mistake: asking for too much
Large asks scare people, so ask small.
Shrink it.
Mistake: being vague
Vague asks leave people unsure, so be exact.
Be exact.
Mistake: asking at the last minute
Last-minute asks feel rude, so give notice.
Ask early.
Troubleshoot: when they say yes but do nothing
Send a gentle reminder with a thank you. Keep it kind.
Remind kindly.
Troubleshoot: when they say no
Thank them and ask if they know someone else. Stay gracious.
Stay gracious.
Drill: rewrite a big ask into a small one
Take a big ask and break it into three small asks.
Shrink one.
Drill: write a request template
Write a short template with ask, time, reason and thank you.
Write it.
Write the ask in one sentence
If it takes more than a sentence, it is too big. Cut it.
Write one line.
Offer a deadline kindly
By Friday if you can, no stress if not. Gentle clarity.
Add a date.
Make it easy to copy and paste
If you ask for an introduction, write a short blurb they can forward.
Write a blurb.
Thank them in advance
A thank you before they act shows warmth.
Thank first.
Example: the forwardable note
Lena wrote a three-line blurb for her mentor to forward. It took him thirty seconds.
Write one.
Example: the date ask
Could you read my draft by Monday? Clear and small.
Add a date.
Troubleshoot: when they say they are busy
Say, no problem, may I ask again in a month? Stay kind.
Ask later.
Drill: rewrite one big ask as three small ones
Break a big request into smaller steps.
Break it down.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“Could you do one small thing?”
“It would take ten minutes.”
“It would help me because of this.”
“By Friday if possible.”
“Fine if not.”
“Thank you either way.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick the exact ask
Make it small
Add a time
Say why
Give an easy no
Say thanks
Follow up
Further reading
- Give and Take (Adam Grant)
- The Go-Giver (Bob Burg and John David Mann)
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
