Confidence / Handling Rejection / Lesson 29

LESSON 29 · HANDLING REJECTION

The Hundred-Noes Challenge

Thirty-two ways to run the hundred-noes challenge, a playful way to grow so used to rejection that it loses its sting.

Collect noes like badges. A hundred tries changes you.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang), Grit (Angela Duckworth), The Obstacle Is the Way (Ryan Holiday), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Collect a hundred noes

Jia Jiang, in his 100 Days of Rejection project, made a request each day that was likely to be refused and filmed the results. He found that some strange requests were accepted and that fear shrank with practice. The idea is to collect noes on purpose until they lose their power.

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Decide your own number: ten, fifty or a hundred.

TIP 2

Make the goal about asking, not winning

If your goal is to hear no, a yes becomes a bonus. This flips your fear: every no is a point scored.

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Set a goal of noes this month.

TIP 3

Start with safe asks

Begin with low-stakes requests: ask a cafe for a free refill, ask a shop for a small discount, ask a stranger for directions.

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Make five safe asks.

TIP 4

Move to mild asks

Ask a colleague for an introduction, ask a neighbour for a small favour, ask for an upgrade.

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Make five mild asks.

TIP 5

Move to bold asks

Ask for a raise, a collaboration or a speaking slot. By now your skill is sturdy.

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Plan one bold ask.

TIP 6

Keep it kind

The challenge is not about pushing people. Ask politely and accept the answer.

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Be warm.

TIP 7

Keep it safe

Choose asks that are legal, respectful and safe. Never ask for anything that could harm anyone.

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Check your list.

TIP 8

Track the count

Keep a tally or spreadsheet. Seeing numbers rise is motivating.

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Create a tracker.

TIP 9

Rate your fear

Rate your fear before and after each ask from 1 to 10. You will see it fall.

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Record both numbers.

TIP 10

Record the response

Write what they said and how you felt. Over time, you will notice patterns.

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Take short notes.

TIP 11

Notice surprising yeses

Some asks you expect to fail will succeed. That teaches you that your predictions are not facts.

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Count the surprises.

TIP 12

Notice how people respond

Most people are kind, even when declining. You will meet more kindness than you expect.

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Note a kind reply.

TIP 13

Notice your growth

Your voice steadies, your body relaxes, your replies improve.

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Compare day one with day ten.

TIP 14

Do it with a friend

Join a friend or form a small group. Share asks and cheer one another.

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Invite someone.

TIP 15

Share your progress

Post in a private group or tell a friend. Accountability helps.

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Share weekly.

TIP 16

Use a calendar

Set a daily or weekly time for your ask. Habits form around times.

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Pick a time.

TIP 17

Prepare a line

Have a simple phrase ready: “Would it be possible to…”

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Write yours.

TIP 18

End with thanks

Whatever the answer, thank them. This keeps interactions positive.

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Say thank you.

TIP 19

Reward the milestones

Treat yourself at 10, 25, 50 and 100 asks.

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Plan rewards.

TIP 20

Learn from the strange ones

Some quirky asks teach creativity and humour.

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Try one weird, kind ask.

TIP 21

Scene: day one

Your heart pounds. Breathe, ask, listen. It will pass.

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Do it anyway.

TIP 22

Scene: day ten

You notice less dread. Keep going.

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Mark the change.

TIP 23

Scene: day twenty-five

You may feel tired. Take a rest day if needed.

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Rest, then restart.

TIP 24

Scene: day fifty

You are halfway. Reflect on what you have learned.

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Write a summary.

TIP 25

Scene: day seventy

You might get a big yes. Celebrate without letting it define the project.

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Keep going.

TIP 26

Scene: day one hundred

Celebrate with a gathering or note. Share your lessons.

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Mark the finish.

TIP 27

Scene: if you slip

Missing a day is fine. Restart.

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Keep the habit.

TIP 28

Scene: if people are rude

Rare but possible. Remember it is about them. Move on.

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Breathe.

TIP 29

Scene: if you get a big no

It might sting. Use the tools you have learned.

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Pause and breathe.

TIP 30

Scene: at work

Ask for feedback, a new task or a mentor.

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Pick one.

TIP 31

Scene: in shops

Ask politely for samples or discounts.

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Be respectful.

TIP 32

Scene: online

Ask experts questions or request collaboration.

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Be concise.

TIP 33

Scene: with friends

Ask for favours you would normally avoid.

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Be clear.

TIP 34

Scene: in your community

Ask to volunteer or organise.

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Offer help.

TIP 35

Avoid risky or manipulative asks

Never lie or pressure.

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Stay honest.

TIP 36

Respect a no

Move on gracefully.

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Say thanks.

TIP 37

Review your results

After the challenge, list what you learned.

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Write a page.

TIP 38

Keep a lighter habit

Continue with one ask a week.

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Set a reminder.

TIP 39

Teach it

Share the method with others.

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Tell a friend.

TIP 40

Close with a smile

Say, “The more I ask, the freer I feel.”

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Write it.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

ASK

“Would you be able to do this for me?”

COUNT

“That is number twelve.”

“I am collecting a hundred noes this year.”

THANK

“Thanks for answering so clearly.”

CELEBRATE

“A no counts, I am on my way.”

“That was easier than I expected.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Set the goal

DAY 2
Write a list of asks

DAY 3
Ask daily

DAY 4
Count each no

DAY 5
Celebrate noes

DAY 6
Review weekly

DAY 7
Reach one hundred

More lessons in “Handling Rejection”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

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