Confidence / Handling Rejection / Lesson 10

LESSON 10 · HANDLING REJECTION

Shake It Out and Reset

Thirty-two ways to shake it out and reset, using your body to clear the leftover charge of a no.

The body holds the stress. Move it out.

40 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

Start with tip 1

Jump to the 7-day plan

40 tips that really help

These ideas come from Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang), Grit (Angela Duckworth), The Obstacle Is the Way (Ryan Holiday), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

TIP 1

Shake it out like an animal

Animals often shake after a threat to release tension. Shaking your arms, legs and shoulders for a minute helps your body discharge stress, and it often makes people laugh too.

TRY THIS
Shake your hands and legs for sixty seconds.

TIP 2

Roll your shoulders

Slow shoulder rolls loosen the tight muscles that rejection tends to lock. Roll back ten times, then forward ten times.

TRY THIS
Do twenty shoulder rolls.

TIP 3

Stretch your neck

Gently tilt your head to each side and hold for ten seconds. Tension often settles in the neck.

TRY THIS
Stretch each side once.

TIP 4

Open your chest

Clasp your hands behind your back and lift gently. An open chest helps deeper breaths.

TRY THIS
Hold it for ten seconds.

TIP 5

Jump on the spot

Twenty small jumps raise the heart rate and burn off stress hormones. The body feels different afterwards.

TRY THIS
Do twenty jumps.

TIP 6

Walk fast for five minutes

A brisk walk lifts mood and clears the head. Studies of exercise and mood show benefits even from short bouts.

TRY THIS
Walk fast around the block.

TIP 7

Dance to one song

Pick a favourite song and dance badly. Movement and music together lift mood.

TRY THIS
Dance to one track.

TIP 8

Wash your face

Cool water on your face is a quick physical reset.

TRY THIS
Splash your face.

TIP 9

Change your posture

Sit or stand tall with relaxed shoulders. Posture can influence how you feel.

TRY THIS
Stand tall for a minute.

TIP 10

Change the room

Move to a different room or step outside. A new place breaks the loop.

TRY THIS
Walk outside.

TIP 11

Change your clothes

Putting on something comfortable or fresh helps mark a new moment.

TRY THIS
Change your shirt.

TIP 12

Tidy one small thing

Clearing a desk or shelf gives a feeling of order. It is quick and calming.

TRY THIS
Tidy for five minutes.

TIP 13

Take a shower

Warm water relaxes muscles and clears the mind. Many people feel renewed afterwards.

TRY THIS
Take a short shower.

TIP 14

Eat something nourishing

A balanced snack steadies energy and mood.

TRY THIS
Have fruit or nuts.

TIP 15

Drink water

Even mild dehydration affects mood and focus. A glass of water helps.

TRY THIS
Drink one now.

TIP 16

Open a window

Fresh air brightens a stale mood. A few deep breaths outside help.

TRY THIS
Step out for air.

TIP 17

Look at the sky

Looking at distant things relaxes the eyes and mind. Find a horizon.

TRY THIS
Look far away for a minute.

TIP 18

Smile on purpose

A small smile, even forced, can ease tension. Don’t force joy; just soften the face.

TRY THIS
Smile gently.

TIP 19

Laugh

Watch a funny clip or call a funny friend. Laughter relieves stress.

TRY THIS
Find something funny.

TIP 20

Pet an animal

Time with animals lowers stress for many people.

TRY THIS
Cuddle a pet.

TIP 21

Reset your goal

Ask, “What matters for the next hour?” Choose one simple task and do it.

TRY THIS
Pick one task.

TIP 22

Do something with your hands

Cooking, drawing or gardening absorbs attention and soothes.

TRY THIS
Choose a hands-on task.

TIP 23

Scene: you are at your desk

Stand, stretch, shake and sip water before the next email.

TRY THIS
Take two minutes.

TIP 24

Scene: you are at a party

Step out for air, breathe and return or leave kindly.

TRY THIS
Go outside briefly.

TIP 25

Scene: you are at home

Put on music and do a ten-minute tidy-and-dance.

TRY THIS
Press play.

TIP 26

Scene: you are travelling

Walk the platform or step off the bus early. Move.

TRY THIS
Walk a bit.

TIP 27

Scene: you are in a meeting

Press your feet into the floor, roll your wrists and breathe.

TRY THIS
Do tiny moves.

TIP 28

Scene: you are in the evening

Take a warm bath or shower, then early rest.

TRY THIS
Plan a calm evening.

TIP 29

Scene: you are in the morning

Start with a stretch and a walk to set the tone.

TRY THIS
Get moving early.

TIP 30

Scene: you are with kids

Play a quick game outside. Joy resets.

TRY THIS
Play for ten minutes.

TIP 31

Reset your mind with a mantra

Say, “New moment, new choice.” It marks a restart.

TRY THIS
Repeat three times.

TIP 32

Reset your plan

Look at your list and choose one small win to do now.

TRY THIS
Write the next action.

TIP 33

Reset your social view

Message a friend about something fun. Light talk helps.

TRY THIS
Send a hello.

TIP 34

Reset with a ritual

A cup of tea, a candle or a short song can mark the end of the sting.

TRY THIS
Create your ritual.

TIP 35

Reset with gratitude

Name three small good things from today.

TRY THIS
Write three.

TIP 36

Reset with a kind act

A small kindness lifts your mood and others’.

TRY THIS
Do one.

TIP 37

Reset daily

Make a quick reset part of your daily routine so it is easy when you need it.

TRY THIS
Schedule it.

TIP 38

Be gentle if it does not work

Some days need more time. That is okay.

TRY THIS
Try again later.

TIP 39

Close with a deep breath

Breathe in, breathe out, and tell yourself, “I am ready for the next thing.”

TRY THIS
Take that breath.

TIP 40

Reset with a short list

Write three tiny things you can finish in ten minutes. Finishing one gives a quick sense of progress.

TRY THIS
Do the easiest one first.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many everyday situations.

SHAKE

“Time to shake this off.”

STRETCH

“I need to loosen up.”

RESET

“Fresh start in sixty seconds.”

MOVE

“Let us take a quick walk.”

THANK

“Thanks for joining me.”

CLOSE

“I feel reset.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Stand up

DAY 2
Shake your hands

DAY 3
Roll your shoulders

DAY 4
Stretch your arms

DAY 5
Take a brisk walk

DAY 6
Breathe deeply

DAY 7
Splash water

Further reading

• Rejection Proof (Jia Jiang)
• Grit (Angela Duckworth)
• The Obstacle Is the Way (Ryan Holiday)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

← All Handling Rejection lessons

Next lesson: Do Not Reply While Hurt →

These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.