Stop Checking Their Social Media
Forty easy tips to stop checking their social media, so your heart can heal in peace.
Out of sight helps healing. Protect your peace.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from How to Fix a Broken Heart (Guy Winch), Conscious Uncoupling (Katherine Woodward Thomas), Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Checking keeps wounds open
Looking at their posts brings pain, comparison and hope. It prolongs healing.
See the cost.
Notice the urge
Feel it rise and name it. Naming makes it less powerful.
Name it.
Delay by ten minutes
Wait and do something else. Many urges pass.
Wait ten.
Mute their accounts
Muting removes their posts without a scene. It is a gentle step.
Mute them.
Block if needed
If muting is not enough, block. You owe nobody access.
Block if needed.
Remove shortcuts
Delete bookmarks and hide apps. Make checking harder.
Remove one.
Unfollow shared friends’ posts about them
You can protect your feed too. Curate what you see.
Curate it.
Replace the habit
When the urge comes, text a friend, step outside or read. Fill the gap with healthy action.
Replace it.
Limit overall social media
Set time limits or take a break. Less scrolling means less comparison.
Set limits.
Do not post to get their attention
Posting to provoke keeps you tied. Post for you or not at all.
Skip it.
Track your progress
Mark days without checking on a calendar. Streaks encourage you.
Track days.
Example: the mute
Lina muted her ex and felt calm within a week. She said she wished she had done it sooner.
Mute them.
Example: the replace
When the urge came, she called her sister. After a month, she rarely thought about it.
Call a friend.
Example: the streak
Ravi marked thirty days with an X each day. He felt proud.
Mark your days.
Script: urge
I notice the urge to check, and I will wait ten minutes. Say it calmly.
Use it.
Script: friend
I want to check their profile, can I call you for a bit? Say it honestly.
Use it.
Script: boundary
I am muting this account to protect my peace. Say it firmly.
Use it.
Script: kindness
I am healing, and I do not need to see this. Say it gently.
Use it.
Mistake: telling yourself one quick look will not hurt
It rarely stays quick, so avoid starting.
Resist.
Mistake: using fake accounts to look
It prolongs pain and may harm you both, so choose healing.
Do not.
Troubleshoot: when you slip and look
Be kind, note what happened and restart. Slips do not cancel progress.
Restart.
Troubleshoot: when mutual friends post about them
Mute or unfollow, or ask friends not to share news. Set a boundary.
Set a boundary.
Troubleshoot: when you must see them for work or children
Keep it professional and brief. Limit other exposure.
Keep it brief.
Create a new routine for the times of day you used to check
Replacing the habit with a walk or a call prevents drifting back to old patterns.
Plan a replacement.
Use screen time limits to protect your healing hours
A timer reduces mindless scrolling and gives you peace.
Set a limit.
Remind yourself that posts show only highlights and not the whole story
Remembering this protects you from painful comparison.
Say it aloud.
Book idea: the digital wound
Guy Winch notes that looking at an ex’s posts keeps the mind stuck in the past, so reducing exposure helps recovery.
Reduce exposure.
Book idea: curate your feed
Digital wellbeing experts suggest muting or unfollowing accounts that trigger pain, which gives your mind rest.
Mute for a month.
Myth: unfollowing is childish
Protecting your peace is a mature choice, and you can reconnect later if you want.
Protect your peace.
Myth: checking will give closure
Checking usually brings more questions and pain, not peace.
Choose rest.
Story: Lina mutes and fills the space
Lina muted her ex and joined a pottery class, and said she stopped thinking about his posts within weeks.
Replace the habit.
Story: Hari deletes the apps for a week
Hari removed social apps for seven days and said his mind felt calmer and clearer.
Try a break.
Red flag: you check many times a day and feel worse
Ask a friend to help you break the habit.
Reach out.
Mini habit: when the urge to check arrives, take a short walk or message a friend
A replacement habit teaches your mind a new response and breaks the cycle.
Try it today.
Think about it: what would my future self thank me for doing today?
Thinking of your future self helps you choose peace over a brief urge.
Write your answer.
Green flag: you went a whole day without thinking about checking their profile
Each calm day is real progress and deserves quiet celebration.
Celebrate it.
Journal: how do I feel after I look at their profile?
Seeing the pattern helps you choose differently next time.
Write it down.
Quick win: move social media apps off your home screen for a month
A little extra effort between you and the app breaks automatic habits.
Do it now.
Fun fact: monitoring an ex online is linked with greater distress after a breakup
Studies show that online exposure can slow emotional recovery.
Share it.
Say this: I am choosing my peace over checking
A short reminder that supports your choice in a weak moment.
Use it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many love and relationship moments.
“I mute their account.”
“I block to protect my peace.”
“I do something else instead.”
“I wait ten minutes.”
“I call a friend.”
“I choose my healing.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Notice the urge
Delay ten minutes
Mute or block
Remove shortcuts
Replace the habit
Tell a friend
Celebrate days without checking
Further reading
- How to Fix a Broken Heart (Guy Winch)
- Conscious Uncoupling (Katherine Woodward Thomas)
- Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
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Start freeThese lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.
More lessons in “Breakups, Healing and Starting Again”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Let Yourself GrieveNext: Take Care of Your Body and Mind →
- Know When a Relationship Is Over
- Try to Fix It First, If It Is Safe
- Talk to a Trusted Friend or Counsellor
- Plan the Conversation Kindly
- Break Up Without Cruelty
- Say What Needs to Be Said
- Handle Mutual Friends and Shared Things
- No Contact or Friendship?
- Let Yourself Grieve
- Stop Checking Their Social Media
- Take Care of Your Body and Mind
- Lean on Friends and Family
- Learn What You Want Next Time
- Forgive and Let Go
- Rebuild Your Confidence
- Start New Habits and Goals
- Know When You Are Ready to Date Again
- Avoid Rebounds That Hurt
- Date Again With Hope
- Your Healing Plan
