Start New Habits and Goals
Forty easy tips to start new habits and goals, so your life moves forward with energy and hope.
New chapter, new habits. Small steps, big change.
40 tips that really help
These ideas come from How to Fix a Broken Heart (Guy Winch), Conscious Uncoupling (Katherine Woodward Thomas), Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
A new chapter needs new rhythm
Habits shape your days. Fresh habits remind you that life is changing for the better.
Choose one.
Pick one habit at a time
Too many changes overwhelm. Choose one that matters, such as a daily walk.
Pick one.
Make it tiny
Start so small you cannot fail, like two minutes of stretching. Small is sustainable.
Make it tiny.
Link it to a routine
Attach a habit to something you already do, such as stretching after brushing teeth. Links help memory.
Link it.
Set a goal for the next three months
Choose something exciting, such as a course or a fitness goal. Goals give direction.
Set one.
Track your progress
Use a calendar to tick each day. Seeing streaks motivates.
Track it.
Tell a friend
Share your habit so they can cheer you on. Accountability helps.
Tell one.
Reward yourself
Celebrate each week with a small treat. Rewards cement habits.
Plan a reward.
Create a space for your new habit
Arrange your home, such as a yoga mat or a desk. Environment supports habit.
Set it up.
Review weekly
Check what works and adjust. Tweak without judgment.
Review.
Example: the tiny walk
Tia started with a five-minute walk and grew to thirty minutes. It changed her mood.
Start small.
Example: the track
He ticked a calendar each day and felt proud at seven days. The streak kept him going.
Track days.
Example: the friend
They texted a friend after each workout. Both stuck to their habits.
Find a buddy.
Script: starting
I will do two minutes of stretching each morning after brushing my teeth. Say it simply.
Use it.
Script: telling
I am starting a new habit and would love your support. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: restarting
I missed a day, and I am starting again today. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: celebrating
I kept my habit for a week, and I am proud. Say it brightly.
Use it.
Mistake: aiming for huge goals on day one
Big goals fail fast, so start small and grow.
Start small.
Mistake: quitting after one missed day
One miss is normal, so keep going.
Keep going.
Mistake: using habits only to distract from pain
Habits help, but also feel and process feelings.
Do both.
Troubleshoot: when motivation drops
Make the habit smaller, add a reward and ask a friend to cheer. Motivation follows action.
Shrink it.
Troubleshoot: when life gets busy
Keep a minimum version, such as one minute. Something beats nothing.
Keep a minimum.
Troubleshoot: when you feel stuck
Try a different habit or time of day and talk to a friend. Experimenting helps.
Experiment.
Pick a morning habit that you can do in under five minutes
A tiny, steady habit anchors your day and gives quick success.
Pick one.
Choose an evening habit that helps you rest
A calming ritual such as reading closes the day gently.
Choose one.
Book idea: atomic habits for a new chapter
James Clear teaches that tiny daily habits compound into big change, so use small routines to rebuild your life after a breakup.
Choose one tiny habit.
Book idea: goals give direction
Goal-setting research suggests that clear, specific goals increase motivation, so set a few for your new chapter.
Write three goals.
Myth: you must reinvent yourself overnight
Change happens through small steps over time, so be patient with your pace.
Take one step.
Myth: new goals mean forgetting the past
You can honour the past and still build a new future.
Keep both.
Story: Nia starts a morning run
Nia ran ten minutes each morning, and after a month said she felt stronger in body and mind.
Start small.
Story: Ben joins a course
Ben enrolled in an evening course on a long-held interest, and found new friends and purpose.
Sign up for one.
Red flag: goals that aim to prove something to your ex
Choose goals for yourself and not for revenge.
Check your motive.
Journal: what have I always wanted to try but kept delaying?
A fresh list gives you ideas for your new chapter.
Write five.
Journal: which habits do I want to leave behind in this new chapter?
Naming them helps you plan gentle changes.
Write three.
Challenge: choose one habit and one goal to focus on for the next thirty days
Focus brings real results and avoids overwhelm.
Write them down.
Challenge: tell a friend your goal so they can encourage you
Accountability and cheering help you keep going.
Share it today.
Green flag: you feel curious and interested in the future again
Curiosity is a lovely sign of healing.
Follow it.
Say this: I am building a life that I love
A positive line that strengthens your direction.
Use it.
Journal: what would a good ordinary day look like in my new chapter?
Picturing it helps you choose the small habits that build that day.
Write one paragraph.
Challenge: try one new activity each week for a month to meet new interests
Fresh activities bring energy and new people, and they help rebuild your life.
Plan the first one.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many love and relationship moments.
“I choose one new habit.”
“I start today.”
“I tick off each day.”
“I reward my effort.”
“I tell a friend.”
“I am moving forward.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Pick one habit
Make it tiny
Link it to a routine
Track it
Tell a friend
Reward yourself
Review weekly
Further reading
- How to Fix a Broken Heart (Guy Winch)
- Conscious Uncoupling (Katherine Woodward Thomas)
- Radical Acceptance (Tara Brach)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Breakups, Healing and Starting Again”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Rebuild Your ConfidenceNext: Know When You Are Ready to Date Again →
- Know When a Relationship Is Over
- Try to Fix It First, If It Is Safe
- Talk to a Trusted Friend or Counsellor
- Plan the Conversation Kindly
- Break Up Without Cruelty
- Say What Needs to Be Said
- Handle Mutual Friends and Shared Things
- No Contact or Friendship?
- Let Yourself Grieve
- Stop Checking Their Social Media
- Take Care of Your Body and Mind
- Lean on Friends and Family
- Learn What You Want Next Time
- Forgive and Let Go
- Rebuild Your Confidence
- Start New Habits and Goals
- Know When You Are Ready to Date Again
- Avoid Rebounds That Hurt
- Date Again With Hope
- Your Healing Plan
