Set One Small Goal
Eighteen easy tips to set one small goal for any event, so you walk in with a clear and kind plan.
One goal is enough. Small goals feel doable.
27 tips that really help
These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), Quiet (Susan Cain), The Introvert’s Edge (Matthew Pollard), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why small goals help
Big goals like meet everyone create stress. A small goal gives your brain one clear job, and you can feel proud when it is done.
Pick one.
Aim to meet two or three people
Two real talks beat twenty quick hellos. Choose a number you can reach without stress.
Choose a number.
Aim to learn one new fact
Ask what people do and learn one thing you did not know. Curiosity makes talking easy.
Learn one thing.
Aim to ask one great question
Prepare a question like, what is the best part of your work? A good question keeps chats going.
Write a question.
Aim to give one helpful thing
Offer a tip, a link or an introduction. Giving makes you feel useful, not needy.
Plan to help.
Write your goal on your phone
Seeing it in your notes keeps you focused. A written goal is far more likely to happen.
Write it.
Tell a friend your goal
A friend can check in with you after the event. Sharing a goal makes it feel real.
Tell someone.
Set a time limit
Decide to stay for one hour if you feel nervous. Knowing you can leave makes it easier to start.
Set a limit.
Script: telling a friend
My goal tonight is to meet two new people and ask one good question. Say it lightly.
Use it.
Script: starting
I am here to meet new people, would you like to chat? Say it brightly.
Use it.
Script: celebrating
I did it, I met two people, and I feel good. Say it proudly.
Use it.
Mistake: setting a huge goal
A huge goal creates fear, so keep it small and kind.
Shrink it.
Mistake: judging yourself if you miss it
Missing a goal teaches you something, so be gentle and try again.
Be gentle.
Mistake: forgetting the goal at the event
If you do not look at it, it fades, so check your phone notes once.
Check it once.
Troubleshoot: when you reach your goal early
Enjoy it, then stay or leave happily. You can add a second small goal if you wish.
Add one more.
Troubleshoot: when you feel stuck at the door
Say your goal in your head, then take one step in, because starting is the hard part.
Step in.
Drill: write your next three goals
Write three small goals for three future events and keep them in your notes.
Write them.
Drill: review after each event
Spend two minutes after every event asking what went well and what you will try next time.
Reflect.
Write your goal as I will statement
I will meet two people and ask each one question. Specific goals beat vague hopes.
Write your statement.
Choose a goal you control
You cannot control who replies, but you can control how many people you greet. Pick actions, not results.
Pick an action goal.
Pair your goal with a time limit
I will stay for one hour. A limit lowers anxiety and keeps you focused.
Set a time limit.
Review your goal at the door
Take one minute outside to read it again. A reminder keeps you on track.
Read it once.
Example: the goal of one name
Lena aimed to learn one new name and one new fact. She left happy with both.
Try her goal.
Example: the goal of one help
Sam aimed to help one person. He shared a tip and gained a friend.
Try his goal.
Mistake: setting no goal at all
Without a goal, you may drift to the snack table and leave early.
Set one now.
Troubleshoot: when you miss the goal
Be kind. Note what got in the way and adjust the next goal.
Write one lesson.
Drill: choose a goal for your next event
Write a one-line goal and put it on your phone lock screen.
Write it.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“My goal is to meet two people.”
“I will ask one good question.”
“I will write down two names.”
“It is okay to leave at nine.”
“I did what I planned.”
“Good job, me.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Choose one goal
Make it small
Write it down
Tell a friend
Check it at the event
Celebrate
Review
Further reading
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- Quiet (Susan Cain)
- The Introvert’s Edge (Matthew Pollard)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Working a Room”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Pick the Right EventsNext: Plan Your Arrival and Outfit →
- Pick the Right Events
- Set One Small Goal
- Plan Your Arrival and Outfit
- Enter Calmly and Find a Friendly Face
- Join a Group Without Interrupting
- Start Chats With Easy Questions
- Listen More Than You Talk
- Introduce People to Each Other
- Share Your Contact the Easy Way
- Exit a Chat Kindly
- Networking for Quiet People
- Write Notes the Same Night
