LESSON 08 · YOUR PERSONAL INTRODUCTION

Smile, Slow Down and Look Up

Eighteen easy tips to smile, slow down and look up, so your body says what your words say.

Face, pace, eyes. Warm body, warm words.

27 tipsEasy things to say7-day plan

27 tips that really help

These ideas come from Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes), The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.

Photo for the tip: Why body language matters
TIP 1

Why body language matters

People trust what they see more than what they hear. A calm body makes your simple words feel strong.

TRY THIS
Check your body.
Photo for the tip: Start with one calm breath
TIP 2

Start with one calm breath

A slow breath lowers nerves. Take it before you speak so your voice starts steady.

TRY THIS
Breathe once.
Photo for the tip: Smile softly
TIP 3

Smile softly

A gentle smile makes you look friendly and helps your voice sound warmer. It should be small and real.

TRY THIS
Smile gently.
Photo for the tip: Slow your pace by a little
TIP 4

Slow your pace by a little

Nerves make us rush. Aim to be slightly slower than feels natural, because that will sound normal to others.

TRY THIS
Slow down.
Photo for the tip: Look at one pair of eyes
TIP 5

Look at one pair of eyes

Warm eye contact shows you care. If it feels hard, look at the spot between the eyebrows.

TRY THIS
Look up.
Photo for the tip: Stand tall with relaxed shoulders
TIP 6

Stand tall with relaxed shoulders

Good posture shows confidence. Drop your shoulders and keep your head level.

TRY THIS
Stand tall.
Photo for the tip: Keep your hands calm
TIP 7

Keep your hands calm

Open hands look honest. If you do not know what to do with them, rest them gently in front of you.

TRY THIS
Calm your hands.
Photo for the tip: Use a friendly tone
TIP 8

Use a friendly tone

Your tone carries kindness. Imagine you are glad to see the person in front of you.

TRY THIS
Be glad.
Photo for the tip: Script: calm start
TIP 9

Script: calm start

It is lovely to meet you. Say it with a smile and a slow breath.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: slow down
TIP 10

Script: slow down

Let me say that again more slowly. Say it kindly.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Script: warm close
TIP 11

Script: warm close

Thank you, I really enjoyed talking with you. Say it with a smile.

TRY THIS
Use it.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: speaking to the floor
TIP 12

Mistake: speaking to the floor

Looking down hides your face, so lift your eyes gently.

TRY THIS
Look up.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: rushing the words
TIP 13

Mistake: rushing the words

Fast speech sounds nervous, so add small pauses.

TRY THIS
Pause.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: crossing your arms
TIP 14

Mistake: crossing your arms

Crossed arms look closed, so keep your arms relaxed and open.

TRY THIS
Open up.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when your hands shake
TIP 15

Troubleshoot: when your hands shake

Hold a pen or rest your hand on a table, and breathe out slowly.

TRY THIS
Anchor your hands.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when your smile feels fake
TIP 16

Troubleshoot: when your smile feels fake

Think of someone you like for a second and let a small smile follow.

TRY THIS
Think kind thoughts.
Photo for the tip: Drill: practise in a mirror for two minutes
TIP 17

Drill: practise in a mirror for two minutes

Say your introduction with a smile, a slow pace and a calm look. Watch for tension.

TRY THIS
Try it.
Photo for the tip: Drill: record a video
TIP 18

Drill: record a video

Record a short video of your introduction and watch it once with the sound off. Notice what your body says.

TRY THIS
Record it.
Photo for the tip: Plant your feet
TIP 19

Plant your feet

Stand with feet hip-width apart. A steady stance helps a steady voice.

TRY THIS
Feel your feet.
Photo for the tip: Lift your chin a little
TIP 20

Lift your chin a little

A level head looks confident. A bowed head looks unsure.

TRY THIS
Check your chin.
Photo for the tip: Breathe in before you start
TIP 21

Breathe in before you start

A breath before the first word keeps you from rushing. It takes one second.

TRY THIS
Breathe once.
Photo for the tip: Use open hands
TIP 22

Use open hands

Show your palms gently when you speak. It feels honest and warm.

TRY THIS
Open your hands.
Photo for the tip: Example: the calm start
TIP 23

Example: the calm start

He paused, smiled, and said his name slowly. People leaned in to hear him.

TRY THIS
Try the pause.
Photo for the tip: Example: the rushed start
TIP 24

Example: the rushed start

She spoke so fast her name was lost. Slowing by ten percent fixed it.

TRY THIS
Slow down a little.
Photo for the tip: Mistake: fidgeting with jewellery or pens
TIP 25

Mistake: fidgeting with jewellery or pens

Small movements pull attention away. Keep your hands calm.

TRY THIS
Rest your hands.
Photo for the tip: Troubleshoot: when you blush
TIP 26

Troubleshoot: when you blush

Smile and keep talking. Most people hardly notice and some find it charming.

TRY THIS
Keep going.
Photo for the tip: Drill: film yourself for one minute
TIP 27

Drill: film yourself for one minute

Record a short intro and watch it once. Note one thing your body does well.

TRY THIS
Record one minute.

Easy things to say

When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.

SMILE

“I will smile gently.”

SLOW

“I will say it slowly.”

LOOK

“I look at your eyes.”

BREATHE

“One calm breath first.”

STAND

“I stand tall and relaxed.”

CLOSE

“Thank you for listening.”

Your first week

One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.

DAY 1
Breathe in and out
DAY 2
Smile softly
DAY 3
Slow your pace
DAY 4
Look at the eyes
DAY 5
Relax your hands
DAY 6
Stand tall
DAY 7
Repeat

Further reading

  • Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
  • How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)
  • The Charisma Myth (Olivia Fox Cabane)

The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.

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These lessons share general learning and everyday ideas. They are not medical or mental health advice. If you feel very anxious, low or unwell, please talk to a doctor or a qualified professional.

More lessons in “Your Personal Introduction”

Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.

← Previous: Practise Until It Sounds Like YouNext: Answer "What Do You Do?" Calmly →

  1. Know Your Story in One Line
  2. What Makes You Worth Remembering
  3. Choose Words Anyone Can Understand
  4. The Ten-Second Introduction
  5. The Thirty-Second Pitch
  6. Start With a Hook, Not Your Job Title
  7. Practise Until It Sounds Like You
  8. Smile, Slow Down and Look Up
  9. Answer "What Do You Do?" Calmly
  10. Introduce Yourself at Events
  11. Introduce Yourself Online
  12. Update Your Pitch Every Six Months
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