Send Requests That Get Accepted
Eighteen easy tips to send connection requests that get accepted, so your network grows with real people.
Add a kind line. Be human.
27 tips that really help
These ideas come from Show Your Work! (Austin Kleon), Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi), So Good They Can’t Ignore You (Cal Newport), and everyday practice. Pick one tip and try it today.
Why add a note
A blank request looks like spam. A short kind note shows you are a real person with a reason.
Add one.
Start with their name
Using a name makes your message warm. Check the spelling before you send.
Use their name.
Mention a shared link
Say, we both love design, or, we met at the event last week. Shared links raise acceptance.
Mention a link.
Give a real reason
Say what you liked, such as a post or a talk. Honest compliments are welcome.
Share one reason.
Keep it under three lines
Busy people skim messages. Short notes get better replies.
Cut it short.
Do not ask for a favour yet
Connect first and build trust before you ask for help. Patience pays off.
Wait.
Send to people who fit
Connect with people you truly want to learn from. A smaller list with real chats beats a huge one.
Pick well.
Respond when others reach out
Thank people who send you requests and say hello. Kindness spreads.
Reply kindly.
Script: event link
Hi Maya, we met at the design meetup last week, I enjoyed our chat. I would love to connect. Say it warmly.
Use it.
Script: post link
Hi Maya, I really liked your post about teamwork. I would love to connect. Say it kindly.
Use it.
Script: shared interest
Hi Maya, I see we both love hiking and teaching. Nice to meet you. Say it lightly.
Use it.
Mistake: sending a blank request
Blank requests are often ignored, so add a short note.
Add a note.
Mistake: sending a sales pitch
A pitch right away feels pushy, so lead with kindness.
Be kind.
Mistake: asking for a job in the first message
It puts pressure on a stranger, so build the link first.
Be patient.
Troubleshoot: when they do not accept
Do not take it personally, because many people ignore requests. Let it go and try others.
Move on.
Troubleshoot: when you feel shy sending requests
Send two small ones to people who share your interests. Small steps build courage.
Start small.
Drill: send five notes this week
Send five connection requests with a kind note and see how many reply.
Send five.
Drill: write a template
Write one short template and edit the first line for each person.
Write it.
Check their profile for common ground
Shared schools, groups or interests make a great opener.
Find one link.
Use the same tone as their posts
If they write warmly, write warmly. Matching helps.
Match the tone.
Send requests on weekdays
People check networks during work hours. Send in the morning.
Choose a time.
Limit requests per day
Sending too many may look like spam. Five a day is plenty.
Set a limit.
Example: the shared group
Hi Priya, I saw we are both in the teachers group, I enjoyed your post on reading games.
Write one.
Example: the event note
Hi Alex, we both attended last night’s talk. Thank you for sharing your view on leadership.
Write one.
Mistake: asking for a job in the note
It feels pushy. Keep the note kind and light.
Keep it light.
Troubleshoot: when your request is declined
Do not worry. Wait and try again later with a new note.
Move on.
Drill: write a note for three people
Write short notes for three people and send one.
Write three.
Easy things to say
When you are stuck, pick one of these. They work in many networking and career moments.
“Hi, I am Sam.”
“We share an interest in this.”
“I enjoyed your post.”
“I would love to connect.”
“Thank you for considering.”
“Have a great week.”
Your first week
One small action a day. Each day is only a little bigger than the last.
Find the person
Read their profile
Write a short note
Mention a link
Send it
Say thanks
Follow up
Further reading
- Show Your Work! (Austin Kleon)
- Never Eat Alone (Keith Ferrazzi)
- So Good They Can’t Ignore You (Cal Newport)
The tips above are written in our own words and are general guidance. The books are suggestions for further reading.
More lessons in “Online Networking”
Keep going. Small steps every day make a big change.
← Previous: Write an About Section People ReadNext: Message a Stranger Without Being Pushy →
- Write a Headline That Gets Noticed
- Choose a Friendly Profile Photo
- Write an About Section People Read
- Send Requests That Get Accepted
- Message a Stranger Without Being Pushy
- Join Groups and Communities
- Share Posts That Help People
- Comment in a Way That Opens Doors
- Show Your Work Without Bragging
- Move From Online to Real Talk
- Protect Your Time and Privacy
- Build a Weekly Online Routine
